Everyone knows that Trailer Muffin hasn’t sung a damn live note in her entire Circus tour, the croaky frog living inside her cheeto-lined throat wont get out of bed for any less than $75 a day. I guess Britney had saved up from the extra money she’s saving from McDonalds and paid the croaky frog to do his thing, since she sung Alanis Morisette’s You Oughta Know 100% in Greensboro last night. Lil Croakers also managed a LINE of her own song Everytime.  Britney fans were moist across the land and the croaky frog is totally spent how. He’s chilling on her tonsils with a pipe right now. A job well done? You decide (but be nice ; the croaky frog is sensitive)

If you were wondering why all the local prostitutes and other trailer people emerged from their local diners and howled at the sky shedding a lone tear today it is because Trailer Muffin is in danger!

The National Enquirer (uh) alleges that Trailer Muffin hasn’t been eating right and is working out too much. Apparently she fell on a dancers leg (DEAD BITCH) and somehow in this picture she got kicked in the face.

This reminds me of that time i collapsed on tour. It was really sad, because when i collapsed i fell into a huge sea of wangs and vaginas, and everyone was screaming my name. It was followed with a lot of sexy sex and then I rode home on a unicorn. It may or may not have been reality.

Well, we mean old by new. Mannequin is one of the finer points in Britney’s musical career, a grinding, attitude filled and unusual pop-track with ethereal backing sounds. We at LA-Deli have been big fans of the track from her Circus album and clearly, Team Trailer Muffin is too, they added the song in a one-track interlude between segues. Enjoy.

Spears performing hit 'Boys' on tour

Britney Spears brought her worldwide sell-out ‘I Get To Dance for Mah Baybees‘ tour (aka The Circus Tour) to Paris this weekend and France are best left in the dark about cheese grits, as im sure they’d be offended by the violation of dairy.

Anywhoo, Britney celebrated the new leg of her tour  with a sexy dark brown hairdo and a “I didn’t eat no muffins this munth y’all, i swear it!” body. She is also debuting a dance to her song ‘Mannequin‘ in the tour tonight according to her twitter.

Britney was brunette for the european dates of her last tour, 2004’s Onyx Hotel.

I prefer my trailer muffins blonde.

Thanks to Exhale for these great pictures.

Click Here to view the point where Britney Spears decided “Fuck this shit” and quit the bitches known as 20,000 people who paid to see her ass in Vancouver.

Britney seemed irritated towards the end of her Radar performance,  and put her fucking hand on her hip and stood next to her stripper pole like Candy at the blue-oyster on short pay week. She smelled some funny shit and it wasn’t her granny pants. Brit Brit stopped dancing altogether and when she didn’t re-appear on stage after the song, fans had to wait 30 minutes.

Brit and co apparently thought that she could smell pot from the crowd or some other kind of smokey shit and so she wanted a little baggy of that shit for later. Just kidding, odds are she was afraid of the drug smell in her weave for the drug tester people.

Obviously the audience having paid a couple of hundred a pop to see this ho lip-sync her little heart out were like hey thats totally okay Britney. Take your time! We can wait.

Of course they weren’t, those sluts were rightfully pissed and thought FUCK no @ Britney and her sluts.

Brit ended that shit on a classy note, after they’d finally coaxed her back out on stage with the prospect of a frap and a donut, she got into it and finished by thanking the audience and telling their asses “Don’t smoke pot. Drive safe. Rock out with your cocks out. Peace motherfuckers!”

Britneys' Vagina wishes you a great day.

I should’ve known that with all of the skimpy outfits on The Trailer Park Comes to Town The Circus tour that Britney Spears would fall victim to a wardrobe malfunction at some point, but three shows in is pretty impressive, especially since she was caught on a live mic (!) saying “my pussy is hanging out” after a mysteriously shit performance of Slave 4 U. 
 

Evidently having your pussy hanging out doesn’t lend itself to great dancing.  We are all slaves to Britney’s pussy because it’s pretty big and angry and If i’ve learned one thing in my lifetime it’s that you should never tell the truth. If i’ve learned two things it’s that you should never tell the truth and always be kind to an angry pussy.

Hey Y'all im gettin the munchies! Who got the foods?

Britney Spears launched her “The Circus” tour last night to a thousand zillion rainbow queefs across the world. Britney didn’t sing live (SHOCKING!) and there was a mixture of response on her dancing which some claimed involved ” a lot of strutting” but of course everyone still loved that shit because they had acrobats, pyrotechnics and ninjas! Probably gay ninjas to be fair. Put some sparkly muscular ninjas in front of a crowd of gays and they will seriously just assume they’ve entered heaven.
 

In truth reviews are actually pretty good for the show, which praise the production and Muffin’s tenacity and dancing, and that’s good news considering her hit-and-miss tour record, and so much was riding on her not breaking down and crying “I just want mah baybees and some whippy cheese y’all” in the middle of the show. So i guess this seals the deal. 

For the record I am seeing this hot mess in London this summer. I think it’s important she dances HARDER for when I go see her or i’ll fling a boot. People don’t fling boots at performers enough when they don’t give it 100% these days. You wouldn’t see Mimi standing in the same fucking position for two hours if you were standing holding a boot and eying her love handles up now would you?

Okay i know Britney trailer park jokes are beating a dead horse now since shes “reformed” into non-white trash again, but deep inside you can see she’s yearning to grab her cheese-grits, run to a public restroom bare-foot and mix some old cheetos stuck to the toilet floor in with that slop for a toilet time snack when she’s going number two. It’s the trailer park way!

Anyway here’s the first look of Britney’s new tour which launches tomorrow called CIRCUS and it’s presented by Candies who have decided to sponsor her crazy crazy ass again.

I wont lie when i say im excited. I can’t wait to hold up a giant “WE LOVE YOU TRAILER MUFFIN.” Sign at her concert. The only outrage seems to be that she wont be performing GIMME MOAR at the tour which is too bad because it’s the only thing everyone want’s to see her actually redo without looking like a drunken pudding bear. 

I also like that shit Mannequin. Mainly because i usually give up shopping in department stores and stare longingly at the mannequin’s. I hate shopping. They have a seductive gaze. Makes sense to me.

Britney Spears is sane again, and from this sanity she has realized that her video for Piece of Me didnt so much deserve 3 VMAs as it did 3 Razzies and an epic slagging since it is, of course, quite terrible. When Britney did the sane and reasonable thing by dropping in to a radio station to promote her new single, she let slip that she’s also having a world tour, so Paris better stock up on cheetos and frapps. Brit Brit said of Piece of Me

“I think that by far i’ve done videos that are way better, so I was really shocked i got the award, you know?”

We were too Britney, and you can thank your tumulous past of crazy pink wigging for that mess.