Posts tagged VMAs
Alicia Keys didn’t want a tranny crashing her flow.
Sep 17th
You are up there on stage, you are soaking up the atmosphere, fans are screaming your name, you are hitting all the right notes and then suddenly out of nowhere a little trannylicious disaster is all up on your stage swaggering its ass around like it owns the song. What? No! Go away!
VMA TRANNY ALERT
This is probably the thoughts of Alicia Keys on Lil Mama crashing her Jay-Z duet at the VMAS. Alicia told GMA that
“We can appreciate her being overwhelmed and inspired but we would have preferred she did it from her seat”.
TRANSLATION: “That tranny frightened me, she frightened and emotionally scarred me, and I don’t want it to happen again. I’d like some more Vicodin now to handle the trauma.”
To be honest if i saw Lil Mama jump up towards me I’d seriously be in a&e. Lil Mama is some chupacabra business! Lil Chupacabra! I wonder how Lil Chup got past security. They probably took one look at her heading up and were like “FUCK THIS, I HAVE A FAMILY!”
Secretly, Alicia Keys is super super happy that the only other people on stage with her were Lil Mama and Jay Z, because lets face it, you could look like a dog’s rotting asshole and still be pretty sexy next to those two.
Which Performance sucked more? Britney v Rihanna
Sep 8th
Everyone knows Triceratops is trying to be the new Trailer Muffin but that shit is not going to happen. Rihanna fucking slaughtered her Disturbia performance because bitch seemed to be somewhere else! People are already wondering if it was as bad as Trailer Muffin's awful 2007 disaster, but trailer muff had the excuse of being drugged up and mentally insane, Rihanna is just a lazy ass assy Mcgee! She just walked around the house like a disfunctional tranny!
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Is She, Isn’t She? Fuck you MTV.
Sep 5th
The gossip world is like a suckling baby and Britney Spears is the teet. Haha, fuck, teet is a funny word. I don't care what you bitches think, im going to take a moment to tickle my nuts to the word teet. TEET! TITTY TEET! TWAT TEETIES! Okay its out of my system now, and I don't know why i made that analogy, but im glad to report that the word teet can safely be used near the name Britney Spears now without people shuddering violently.
Here is a video of Britney looking sizzling whilst rehearsing to a new song apparently called "It's Been a Long Time" which i suppose is correct if you are referring to the duration since Britney Spears was last sane, although no word if it's a new album song, or just a cut track from Blackout, who gives a cat's fart anyway?
MTV are such assholes, they leak this shit to make you watch the VMAs only to find Britney riding in on an elephant or some shit. Everyone will clap ravenously and be like "Oh she is such a brave legend! Look everyone, she's riding an elephant, isn't that clever referential subtlety?! I think so!" and around an MTV table some executives will be giving handjobs to each other for managing to get people to actually watch the VMAs without actually having any interesting performers whatsoever.
Call me back when Britney is taming a bird of prey for a performance. I'd love to see that bird and Brit Brit have a swirling fight to the death over her weave. Brit would win, obviously, she is from the SOUF. She probably cooked rare birds of prey for dinner around the age she was having sex and doing drugs, that'd be around the age of 15 then according to her mother.
Can i just say i was hitting the bottle around a year later than this bitch, so thats no biggy, and most of the sluts i know were knocked up at 15 anyway. I guess thats because i love sluts though.
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