When reading coverage of Miley Cyrus allegedly dating a 20 year old underwear model, it seems the rest of the world forgot that sexual relations between a 15 year old and a 20 year old are, in fact, classed as statutory rape almost everywhere that counts. Is everyone okay with this? Like, I’m not going to be super surprised if they take a Christian vacation to France to legally have sex together as much as is physically possible see the beautiful religious sites the country is so famous for.

Of course, the first sighting of the two together was when the model, named Justin Gaston, was going to Church with Miley and her family.  In obviously suitable church attire, and definitely not clothes you’d see on a go-go dancer in a seedy New York bar.

Also, this is a 20 year old. That body, is 20 years old. Not 24 or even 26, 20. Did he start toning and working out as a fetus? Yes, thats the sound of bitter hatred, but then again, how jealous can you be of someone dating the most irritating 15 year old in human existence.

Images Courtesy: Just-Jared.com

Jeremy Edwards is a British actor who has appeared in such fine quality programming as Celebrity Big Brother. Suffice to say then that he is also washed up and has a history of drug use. With said drug use he also got kind of chubby, and anyone knows that an actor only good for his looks has issues when he starts to get fat.

So he decided to get the fat sucked out follow Mens Health's six-weeks to great abs challenge and now looks like this.

I'd definitely go to a Jeremy Edwards drug party and tell him that everythings okay and hes a fantastic actor and shit like that. You know I just want a little downtime with his 9th pec muscle.

This bitch clearly spent 89 hours a week in the Gym. I'm jealous and a little turned on.

more images of jeremey courtesy of famousmales

 

I think theres something seriously wrong with me, either that or the world is plotting against me because I want to screw anything on legs right now, and David Beckham definitely has very lovely legs.

Just-Jared has posted these beautiful, beautiful new pictures of Beckham's Armani campaign. The Armani campaign was like the gift from god to make up for the mistake that is Christina Aguilera. Thank you god. Thank you.

I should mention I have difficulty seeing the entire pictures because my mind refuses to add all of the hotness together for fear of some sort of major stroke. So i have to micro-manage these pictures and would suggest you do too.

Thanks mainly to Just Jared for the gift that keeps on giving.

There should be a club for all of the dudes he turned gay. Like all of the dudes who got their first erection from Farah Fawcett have a club. It's more of a secret society really.

Hot Triceratops bitch Rihanna is making major mistakes by doing this seedy duet with Maroon 5. Adam Levine will make a play for her bajingle and Rihanna should remember it belongs to Chris Brown and Chris Brown alone.

What is it about douchebags that I can't get enough of? I would definitely mount both of these specimens. Of course this would happen after the rohypnol had taken effect, as there is no way Rihanna would let a meagre mortal like me do the nasty with her melons.

That was a dark place for me, dark like Adam Levine's douchebag eyes. Delicious.

Image Source: Just Jared (love!)

Jared Padmefecki or whatever from The CW's Supernatural is super hot. Like, those brothers on that show i'd probably hit harder than i hit the crack den after Alias got cut. But Jared tells pretty lies to make people believe he's just a carefree guy who fell into acting like its some casual effortless thing for him. Of his incredibly buff body he says he keeps it up by eating as much junk as is physically possible.

As a man I am entitled to call BULLSHIT on this issue. If i look at a chocolate donut my ass automatically grows an inch. I love when celebrities say they just kind of have those bodies. Like, yeah, and I just kind of picked up the herpes and the crabs from locking myself away in a monastery! Please sluts, don't let Jareds sexy lie muscles make you believe guys can eat shit and not get fat. We get fat. We do.

I'm sure Johnny Depp loves having his vacation documented by paparazzi. But the world does not care as this is a sight humanity needed to see. Sometimes I imagine what it's like to live with the knowledge women would leave their husbands for you and guys would go gay for you. Then I realize who the fuck I am and don't need to imagine! Call me sluts.

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