Posts tagged Hilary Duff
100% Organic Pony Poo
Aug 8th
There are things in life that can make you depressed about Hilary Duff's music career. We've had Hilary Duff Most Wanted, and now we have the Best of Hilary Duff. I've never heard a classic pony song in the last five years. Since masturbating with scorpions I think we all want Hilary Duff in our lives, but we also don't like it when people make fun of our friends.
The Best of Hilary Duff is available September 23.
Pink & Bai Ling are having intercourse
Apr 28th
I love P!nk because she's talented and I love Bai Ling because she's not talented. I can't believe P!nk looks happy, did Hilary Duff's scorpion leech onto something else. Bai Ling looks like hot tranny mess in that photo, and is that a Burger King menu?
Miley Cyrus overtakes Britney as top Pedo Icon.
Apr 28th
Miley Cyrus is 15. This is her Vanity Fair cover.
Now I remember back to when I was 15, the girls were sluts then too. Short skirts, boob squishing bras and blouses that showed them off. English Lit was basically a brothel. Some things never change, like child prostitution!
Everyone knows that Miley Cyrus is on the fast track to becoming the next Lindsay Lohan. Miley loves the attention and she actually says stupid-retarded things about how everyone loves her all the time. I don't love you Miley!
Miley's camp are trying to pin the blame for it all on Vanity Fair, as are Disney, who are no doubt pissed off with Miley and will have her vagina sealed for this. Vanity Fair are saying that Miley was totally hyped about the picture and loved it until the backlash.
Meanwhile, the Paedophile Corporations' stock rocketed 284% at yesterday's close on the Dow Jones.A spokesman for the Paedophile Corp said "Miley's Vanity Fair pictures have been very good for business. Not since the days of Britney Spears in a catholic schoolgirl outfit have we seen such a huge jump in our assets."
The recovery comes at a desperate time for the corporation, who had seen signifcant losses recently as Lindsay Lohan, Emma Watson and Hilary Duff all passed puberty.
This shit isn't right and Annie Leibovitz and her lesbo ass shouldn't get away blame free for ending the Hannah Montana brand! She's just bein Miley! And bein Miley means being a child prostitute!
The Pony and the Poofs!
Apr 11th
More images of Hilary Duff in her most adult role yet as the "middle-eastern Britney Spears" have been released for the movie "Pony Inc" which stars Hilary and the Cusack family and was funded by the Grand National and Royal Ascot.
I am not kidding when i say i'd hit it with every single person in that picture. Although I'm not sure about bald and mohawk. I think he'd try and get a little fresh with me. I am a little worried about him in all honesty. I think he might have to wait outside. Sugarcubes and Carrots sure looks fit these days. In England they'd call her fit totty on toast. Im pretty sure Haylie should move to England. If Katie Price can make it, so can Elbow Gin Duff!
PONY Inc.
Mar 29th
Someone in heaven answered my prayers because Hilary Duff hasn't made a movie since 'Material Girls' and for that I am wholy thankful. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and someone in Hollywood ruined the fun for everyone by casting Hilary Duff in the movie War Inc. I'm sure they originally titled it Pony Inc, but Hilary's people took offense or some shit. That is true though. It's going to be the best movie ever because theres a scene where a Scorpion bites Hilary on the snitch. Harry Potter would approve. He's at that age.
Give her a sugarcube and move her along. The film set is no place for a pony these days! Animal cruelty regulations people!
Heidi Montag is amazing and awesome.
Mar 25th
Heidi Montag is kind of like the slow cousin with ADD and fake tits. I don't have one of those cousins, but I'd imagine that if i did, they'd basically be Heidi Montag.
Anyway, Heidi has got it into her oddly shaped head that she is going to be singer and after she shat out "Higher" she is back to cut the cheese with as new snatch fart of a record called "No More."
I am just so thankful for the vocoder because at the end of the day, an audio corrected Heidi Montag is still preferable to hearing her actual singing voice. Bitch makes Hilary Duff look like Celine Dion. I kind of fell in love with Heidi after she started staging photoshoots on the street with paid paparazzi. That is definitely hot and a good thing to do.
I also feel my appreciation of her is a good example of me venting my inner gay, as I wouldn't touch that cooter with a ten foot cock pole. To celebrate my changed attitude towards Heidi, i've given her her own category. I know she is reading this on her blogroll patrol AM.
WELL DONE HEIDI. KEEP DOING WHATEVER YOUR DOING. I LIKE TO SEE THE WORLD BEING PISSED OFF SOMETIMES.
Furious Constipation!
Feb 11th
Beyonce and Tina Turner push out two big ones on stage at the Grammys.
Beyonce looks like she has peni in this shot. Unfortunate dress bunching there. Just kidding she defo has a huge salami down there. You know Beyonce got a soccer punch to the ovaries after this performance for trying to outsing Tina. B Girl just cant leave it alone and let Tina have her moment!
Gayness Extremity
Sep 3rd
Guys, if I ever become this, you have my permission to tranq me and feed my living body to animals.
Make sure Hilary Duff gets a nibble though. I want her to be with me forever.
She needs horse shoes!
Aug 7th
Sarah Jessica Parker channels crazy Ed horse here in a mind blowingly terrible advert for her new perfume, covet. She basically acts like a crazy horse and kicks her hooves into a window through the whole advert. They cut the part where she gets through the glass and nibbles up all the sugar cubes. Bitch isn't after the peepee smelling perfume, she wants sugarcubes and she wants lots of em!
Much like Hilary Duff, SJP will always be a horse!
Thanks to ONTD for bringing this to attention. Hot site.
Horseteeth should watch her back!
Jul 24th
Hillary Duff pulled a diva turn in Richmond last week, and made two nine year olds cry.
Hillary was approached two 9-year-old girls arrived carrying posters and T-shirts and hoping for autographs while dining at Pier 36 Seafood and Oyster bar. “On their way out, the owner asked if Hilary would sign a menu for her daughter and she did,” says a spywitness. But when the youngsters approached, the source says, “[Hilary] said, ‘I don’t really get to spend a lot of time with my family; sorry’ and walked out the door.
“She made one of the little girls cry.”
I can't blame Hilary for not wanting to give autographs, I mean having to dip your hooves in ink is such an inconvenience when it comes to wearing expensive clothes. She's going to get hoof prints all over her suede saddle!
I just wanted to remind her that she is, by her very nature, a horse – and even though she has tricked us into letting her away with it by sawing down her teeth, we can pull that rug from right out under her any time she prances with that head too high!
Like, I could get it if a creepy thirty five year old approached her for her autograph when out for a meal, but you give kids the time of day ho, especially when they are the only people buying your shit! You better get back to the stable. horsery…i'm officially pulling sugarcubes from your diet and that is not an idle threat!
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