Posts tagged Fergie
Cat Piss now available via Avon.
Jun 12th
First there was Cheeto Fantasy by Britney Spears, then there was My Lovely Horse by Sarah Jessica Parker, and now theres Outpouring by Fergie. Sorry, that’s Outspoken by Fergie. Fergie’s new fragrance
“boasts notes of jasmine, tuberose, starfruit and passion flower with black leather”
So basically the smell of a strip club then. They obviously forgot the tinge of urine and the slight whiff of crystal meth that really makes for that unique fergie smell. A used pair of urinated pants comes with every bottle only available from that cheap 40 something neighborhood tramp favorite Avon. Skin So Soft indeed, thats why your husbands keep banging her, because that bike uses skin so soft on her ho-ho dingle.
Credit does go to Fergie for her bottling it in a posh bong.
What the future holds for Fergie
Feb 16th
Today, while you are stuffing yourselves with 100% fat pancakes that will fatten your thighs, you may wanna check out the new Black Eyed Peas music video. It is so 3008. Seriously guys, it’s two music videos in one.
http://blackeyedpeas.dipdive.com/tv/#/~/videoplayer/0/5394/112845/~
The best thing about this 10-minute technological experiment, is that we can see the great Fergie in her true expressive form. We can see the future of where Fergie’s vagina is going to take us. Urinating in 3008 will be a cluster of sonic booms which will save the world. Wes Anderson eat your heart out.
On a personal level, after Fergie touched me with her sweet urine soaked hand in October last year, it’s a shame she will turn into everyone’s favourite Alaskan dildo, Sarah Palin.
Perez’s injuries are severe
Jun 22nd
After viewing Chris Crocker Perez Hilton’s testimonial about the “Will.i.Am punched me, twitter friends to the rescue” drama, his injuries are severe.
As you can see there a huge gigantic major big sizeable minor cut just under his right eye. Naturally this is enough to make any queen cry uncontrollably for a few hours before finding the courage to yell at the computer screen for 11 minutes, digging a deeper hole compared to the one he was in prior to the testimonial.
Perez you said that Will.I.Am punched you on twitter, now you are saying it was the manager, you are the fucking liar here. Leave Fergie alone and none of this would have happened to you. Yes violence is wrong, but I enjoy a good downfall. Seriously if you find the time, view the testimonial, quite possibly more laughs in here than a summer comedy.
It has many gems, including “VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWEERRR”, ”I will let people have their (air quote) MOMENT (/air quote)”, “I like writing about other peoples DRAMA, i dont want DRAMA in my OWN LIFE!!!”
I guess what’s so ridiculous about the whole thing is that Perez Hilton is the hugest bitch in all the land and is so outraged about being smacked in the face when the stuff he says and does is far more hurtful than a slap on the face. He is just a ridiculous disgrace.
BREAKING NEWS: Perez is full of shit
Jun 22nd
Perez Hilton tonight is both a victim of violence and stupidity. At a MuchMusic Award after party in Toronto, Perez Hilton was purportedly struck by the Black Eyed Pea’s Will.i.Am. Perez decided his twitter followers were the ones that should contact the police forum. Such a diva, or a complete fucking idiot. Canada shares the same Numbering plan as the U.S., naturally Americans don’t know this because Canada is on Mars to some segments of the US population.
During this time of extreme twitter panic, Keri Hilson was crying and Miley Cyrus was secretly laughing and drinking champagne whilst blood was flowing from Hilton’s brain. So standby for further developments.
UPDATE: We’ve just received from everyone’s favourite part-time lesbian, Tila Tequila, that there is more to the story. Will.I.Am is not liking the accusation and has just created his very own twitter account.
Is it funny that Tila Tequila is in the middle of everything for the first time in her life?
Follow LA-Deli on twitter as well.
UPDATE 2: Perez is still alive and will not be talking to about the situation any further. Tila Tequila is just happy people will be mentioning her name all day tomorrow. While Tequila maybe the dumbest ho in the Western Hemisphere, I’m more inclined to believe Will.i.Am because I do think Perez would go this low for a bit of attention.
UPDATE 3: Will.I.Am vlogs on the situation: http://dipdive.com/member/iamwill/tv/#/~/videoplayer/0/undefined/48856/~/
Kind of agree, why twitter if you’ve been assaulted.
Duchess of Urine is Married
Jan 11th
The staff of La-Deli.com would like to congratulate one of our favourite hoes, Fergie, on getting married yesterday. Let’s hope the yellow bubbly flowed all through the night.
[Image: WireImage]
Aubrey O Day is going to be a fine mother.
Sep 17th
Aubrey O Day is like the inspirational story for a generation. Her transformation from skanky ass prostitute to all kinds of crazy sophistocated is one which many young girls are sure to see as a source of power during difficult times. Aubrey is a continuing source of glamour and beauty, as is demonstrated by her new interview with Complex magazine. In it, she admitted to
- Having sex during her period, claiming Jenna Jameson told her it was “war paint”.
- Having sex on camera with her boyfriend
- Loving porn where black guys do white girls – and enjoys watching the girls more.
- Loving being called a whore.
However, the finest moment of the entire interview culminated in this quote about how she watched Jenna Jameson porn movies until she befriended Jameson
I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!†I had to turn it off. It was horrible.
Yeah, Jenna Jameson was what made the anal sex compliation that you can’t readily identify gross, and not, say, the shitty dicks, or the fact you masturbate to anal porn so frequently that you can’t remember what compliation of it you were watching.
I mean, I wasn’t even aware that the world had compliations of porn. Is that like a NOW cd? All the greatest jizzes and bukkake’s of the season? Featuring Fergie? Heidi Montag should get some action out of this, her songs would be perfect for porn complation dvds!
Some of Heidi’s lyrics can be used in the commercials after the jump!
Just Sit Down, Mimi!
Sep 11th
I didn't see this before but is the live telethon performance of JUST STAND UP the best thing ever? Maybe. Why? Because all of those hos are totally clappy and smiley and trash for cancer and raising money for the sick…except Mimi. Mimi is insulted that the butterfly gods made her slum it with these better selling and more relevant shitty babies who want to be like her in every way.
I also love how Fergie sounds like a nasal depression. Like a big walking dent in the side of a nose. I am sure there was a time Fergie could sing and didnt try and sound so street that she is practically a pavement. And who crapped Nicole Sherzhitler onto the end of this lineup? Where is the fabulous Toni Braxton? Need i even ask? Mimi has her down a well and is dropping down a bottle saying "and it rubs the lotion on it!". True fact.
Pray on your Butterfly Princess she dont eat her!
Sep 5th
Yeah Beyonce and Rihanna are there and Beyonce probably gave Rihanna's triceratops horns a little bashing around after the shoot, but the real shit to watch is Mimi and Leona. Mimi knows Leona is on better form and she has already given the orders to her Unicorn Mistress to take Leona out, but bitch is in the same room as her and Mimi hasn't been eating so well lately. Im just saying, watch out Leona. Leona could try and use her pony hooves to kick Mimi off, but once Mimi fixes her eyes on her prey thats it for them. They are dead babies!
I appreciate Fergie making an appearance here to bring 100% more urine stained panties to the room. I always say when i see these shoots with all the celebrities together - "Fuck, it would be perfect if there was someone who urinates themselves in public there!"
Divas stick togetha
Aug 22nd
Our favourite hoes have banded together to tell cancer to fuck off. Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Ashanti, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Rihanna, Leona Lewis, Fergie, Natasha Bedingfield, Sheryl Crow, Melissa Etheridge, Miley Cyrus, LeAnne Rimes and Carrie Underwood fight to be the best vah-jay-jay out there.
Great song, first of all. But let's be serious for a second. Who were the biggest whores of that song?
Winners: Beyonce, Carrie Underwood, Fergie
Losers: Mariah Carey, Ashanti, LeAnne Rimes, Ciara
The ending is kind of funny. You can tell Mariah Carey is trying to tell Leona Lewis to DIAF, by doing her signature screaming.
A lucky hoe
Jul 30th
Fergie must be thanking her lucky stars lately as she has just scored a role in the big screen adaptation of Broadway musical, Nine. She will be playing a prostitute, of course, and will be singing next to such great talent, such as, Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench and Kate Hudson. Lucky bitch.
And if that wasn't enough…
Our favourite urinater has also been out and about hoeing herself as usual again. Handbags wasn't enough, so has entered the shoe business where she hopes more meth sluts can take another page out of her book. From what I we can see, the shoes don't seem to be 100% waterproof.
Image: Wire Image
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