Music Video
Any video with a giant nipple man is okay by me.
May 1st
Here is Alexandra Burke’s video for her pretty awesome new pop track All Night Long which involves a giant man with a nipple as a hat.
What the future holds for Fergie
Feb 16th
Today, while you are stuffing yourselves with 100% fat pancakes that will fatten your thighs, you may wanna check out the new Black Eyed Peas music video. It is so 3008. Seriously guys, it’s two music videos in one.
http://blackeyedpeas.dipdive.com/tv/#/~/videoplayer/0/5394/112845/~
The best thing about this 10-minute technological experiment, is that we can see the great Fergie in her true expressive form. We can see the future of where Fergie’s vagina is going to take us. Urinating in 3008 will be a cluster of sonic booms which will save the world. Wes Anderson eat your heart out.
On a personal level, after Fergie touched me with her sweet urine soaked hand in October last year, it’s a shame she will turn into everyone’s favourite Alaskan dildo, Sarah Palin.
Hit Watch: Ciara, Jordin Sparks, Girls Can’t Catch
Jul 18th
First up in the hitwatch for this week is this staunching new track from Ciara. ‘Work’ is getting it’s international release right now and burning up the airwaves and music video networks. Expect to hear this shit in the clubs 24/7 within the next two months.
Just as well that tranny pulled out a hit, because her new cd Fantasy Ride is a fucking disasterzone. Work is the only thing worthwhile on that mess.
Next up is a favourite of mine, Jordin Sparks. We’ve got her new album and we can say that there is no shortage of hit material on the CD which is pretty great. Songs like Don’t Let it Go To Your Head, Battlefield, It Takes More, Watch You Go, S.O.S, and the amazing No Parade are just a few of the highlights. 14 Tracks, maybe 8-10 of them are great. Not a bad batting average for a Pop CD. Well played, Jordin.
Finally we have a flavour of Brit to serve as the cherry on the pie. Girl’s Can’t Catch are the new girlband from the label of The Saturdays and Girls Aloud. Expect big things from them in the UK at least.
Lily Allen gives some advice
Jul 11th
Even if you don’t like Lily Allen, there’s plenty to like about her latest single “22″. The new music video has premiered, and there’s nothing like a bit of raw social commentary to help you when you are depressed.
The video is mightily impressive, simple and raw.
But still, I’m actually going off to party right now. Something tells me, Lily & I have many things in common when it comes to nightclub toilets.
New Music: V V Brown and The Noisettes
Jul 7th
As part of our ongoing crusade to get hot British hos out there we bring you a double bill; the great new track from The Noisettes an amazing new song from the super talented, fierce and amazing V V Brown, who P.Diddy tried to sign but she rightfull said HELL NAW.
V.V declined a place in Oxford, Kings College, LSE and York to go do music times with a microphone instead and we are GLAD she chose this option.
The Noisettes are celebrating a smash hit UK album and number one single, and this is their latest track trick. We love it.
New Sugababes
Jul 7th
UK girl band, Sugababes, are back with their new single “Get Sexy”. Looks like they will finally have a song that gets played in a club.
Rating: 3.5 Brad Pitt nose hairs out of 5.
Hit Watch: Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson
Jun 28th
So LA Deli is going to be providing you guys with the best future hit pop tracks as they drop and our dedication to that began with Tinchy Stryder ft Amelle Berrabah which, at least for our UK readers, seems set to be in heavy rotation.
Anyway the next song on our radar is Kelly Clarkson’s new single ‘Already Gone‘. We loved ‘I Do Not Hook Up‘ and ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’ and ‘Fuck You, Record Label – i’ll eat if i want to‘ but ‘Already Gone’ seems sure to be the bona fide smash of this album’s era. With rocking songwriting from Ryan Tedder this feels like Beyonce’s ‘Halo’ but somehow feels more heartfelt from Clarkson who, lest we forget, is actually rather good at singing.
Well played, Kelly.
Taylor Swift is a naughty girl
Feb 17th
Taylor Swift didn’t get the memo about using people from Laguna Beach. If you can remember that asswipe, Steven, well Taylor likes having baths with him in her new music video for White Horse.
Don’t listen to PETA, Taylor. Use a real white horse in your video, and then have a bath with it. Same effect.
I’m pretty sure there is something wrong with Kat DeLuna’s face
Jan 25th
I don’t think Kat DeLuna can blame Chernobyl for this. This is something else. Def Jam dropped her, and now she’s with Universal. It’s no wonder they’re hiding the flaws of her face through the wonders of lighting and CGI. Her new music video, makes Pixar studios shit themselves.
Brandy does the scientificly impossible, again!
Dec 10th
OMG u guys! Turn your tv off right now! Call your friends over! They must see this! You know how in that movie I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Julie is friends with that black girl. But you know that can’t be true because in the first movie she only had white friends and is secretly racist, but Brandy is like “Imma white guuuurl Julie, tell you big titties too”. I mean, how could Brandy trick us. The acting was seriously better than anything I’ve seen on The Ghost Whisperer. Like I don’t even think it was real acting. I just think Brandy was just trying to control our minds into thinking that.
And you know how Brandy was a household name, and then wasn’t for so long. Well bitch was working on a something new. I didn’t realise it in the Right Here (Departed) music video it showed glimpses of Brandy just changing the weather. It was scary shit, I had to watch the entire series of Friends to get over it. Pheobe is so funny!
But then Brandy released her new music video, and then I saw it. See if you can catch it:
Did you see it?????!???!?!
It was raining while the sky was blue. Like it was perfectly clear. Not one cloud. How the fuck did Brandy do that? She has powers you guys. And how about the water changing the black and white to colour. Did Brandy do that too? Seriously, you guys. I think it’s time to start building the Church of Brandy. I feel like it’s my new mission in life to be a Brandy nun or something.
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