Hot
Hey Y’all mah head is fallin off!
Jul 4th
Here’s Britney Spears on the cover of Cosmopolitan Magazine in which she gives three word answers to a range of obscure questions, and in the process gives her most revealing interview since Diane Sawyer made her cry.
This cover would be a success story if…
- ‘The Sex Angle that Intensifies Female Pleasure’ was shown with a labelled diagram.
- ‘Inhaled the Whole Pizza?’ was illustrated with a comedy fat lady vomiting up with a toothbrush.
- ‘Sex Poll’ was retitled ‘How to be a better bitch for your dominant male’
- Britney Spears’ head was actually attached to the picture of her body.
So Britney is in great shape, but as a general prerequisite for finding someone sexy i tend to enjoy a head that wont roll off in the throngs of passion. And also; the smile and the eyes. She is not smizing. She is being tazed by a thousand Candies executives into this. Case in point: Her new awkward Candies ads – her body is present but her mind is in a Frapp pool in Starbucks heaven.
Jennifer Garner Update: Still flawless and perfect etc etc
May 1st
I don’t call the period after Winter ‘Spring’ or ‘Summer’ any more. I call it ‘Jennifer Garner’. That’s because Jennifer Garner is all that is good in the world and anyone who says differently is a filthy lying bastard who can choke on his own jizz.
Other than being on The Early Show and American Idol Gives Back to try and save poor children, Garner is also producing her first movie called Butter which stars everyone ever. Here are some great pictures of her doing businessy things from Just-Jared courtesy of Splash News.
You are welcome.
Bar Refaeli is kind of smoking hot.
Mar 23rd
You know, it must suck for Bar Refaeli that the only thing people ever say about her is that she’s smoking hot. It must suck for her whenever she meets people and all they can see is how smoking hot she is, rather than anything inside that smoking hot shell we know as her super banging body. It must suck that men just want to have sex with her for her smoking hot good looks, and that they’ll walk away as soon as she starts to share her favourite Regina Spektor song. It must suck for her.
Fortunately I don’t care about how she feels since im too busy masturbating. Build a bridge Bar!
Forehead Tittaes!
Mar 10th
My new favourite thing in life, possibly ever, is Marion Cotillard proving that actually, yes, funnyordie.com is worth the terrabytes it uses with her ad for FOREHEAD TITTAES.
Hot Euro Tranny Mess
Jul 15th
Okay Alina is not a tranny, but at nine feet twelve and a robot man-voice she might as well be. A ridiculously sexy tranny though. I would definitely cash my tranny goodwill in with this bitch.
Isn’t the Numa Numa shit a bit 2000-and-late? I’m fairly certain that once T.I did it it goes past prime.
Beyonce’s sweet dream is our Fug Ass Nightmare.
Jul 9th
And by that i mean her sweet dream is finally being exposed, a trifecta of Beyonces!
This is how she has always envisioned it, but due to the physical impossibilites behind it and many failed prototypes she has had to use Kelly and Michelle as standins instead.
The pic is from the new video from Beyonce’s Sweet Dreams, which looks like it cost about $14 to make. It’s on youtube but keeps getting yanked down by the label, so google that shit and cross your twanger and maybe she’ll appear to you like a beautiful nightmare.
The last six seconds of the video are like a hypnotic trance where Beyonce’s chest is doing the overtime.
Britney: Before and After airbrushing
Jul 8th
Okay this really is turning into Britney Spears week, but what can I say, people love this trailer muffin. Britney’s new song should totally be Muffin Top.
Anywang, Britney is back in the headlines again after accusations that her Candies ads were *gasp* airbrushed. People were shocked! The world stopped turning! It turns out someone at Britney’s PR machine wanted the world to know otherwise and leaked the unairbrushed version to that douchebag PerezHilton.
Before
After
So now we know instead that makeup is mainly to blame for this, and she’s not a fatty boom boom. Clearly theres been lighting adjustments, a little tweaking on the hair, and her top has been pulled out and ass pulled in to make her look un-natural in her proportions and actually now you see the after it looks physically impossible.
We are pretty certain Candies put a big chunk towards the budget of the shitty ass Radar video, which would explain why it makes no sense for the song.
Thanks for promoting a ridiculous body image, Candies!
Britney smokes as a brunette in Paris
Jul 5th
Spears performing hit 'Boys' on tour
Britney Spears brought her worldwide sell-out ‘I Get To Dance for Mah Baybees‘ tour (aka The Circus Tour) to Paris this weekend and France are best left in the dark about cheese grits, as im sure they’d be offended by the violation of dairy.
Anywhoo, Britney celebrated the new leg of her tour with a sexy dark brown hairdo and a “I didn’t eat no muffins this munth y’all, i swear it!” body. She is also debuting a dance to her song ‘Mannequin‘ in the tour tonight according to her twitter.
Britney was brunette for the european dates of her last tour, 2004′s Onyx Hotel.
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- Spears performing hit ‘Boys’ on tour
I prefer my trailer muffins blonde.
Thanks to Exhale for these great pictures.
Unfortunately for me, I’d Hit it.
Jul 3rd
Ugh. I know, I KNOW. Adrien Brody attends BOSS Orange’s fashion party and a small part of himself must admit he’s gay for that alone. I can only hope, since apparently i’m attracted to guys who look like they’ve been woken up by the sound of another hobo pissing on THEIR spot. I am not even going to begin to discuss that outfit, but suffice to say I’d hop on that train and honk it’s crookedy ass nose until the sun comes up!
Images: Just Jared
Britney’s Horse Porn video.
Jun 30th
Britney Spears’ new song Radar is about a year and a half old now, but is still awesome. That said, the video had such potential to be a total navy themed vid. Britney on a boat, like Cher, except from the trailer park. Trailer-Cher if you will. Anyway Britney instead decided to go for the very popular and current theme of horses and polo for the video instead. And of course the video features Britney sitting a lot (yes, this IS an uptempo dance song) in slow-motion and then a horse shaking his money maker whilst being watered down, slowmo style, to the words “animal in the sack, think i can handle that!”
And yet im still okay with this, because it’s Britney.
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