Gay Hollywood
Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick are probably a gay couple.
Jun 27th
In Hollywood there is a book of secrets, like in National Treasure 2 and in it there is a list of secret homos who no one knows are really gay. Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick are most definitely not patrons of said book.
The rumours about these two being boyfriends has been defining since Gossip Girl started, which is useful, because this is the only way i'd ever give a rats shit about that trash. Rat shits are tiny like pellets.
Anyway, this week another rumour is out from Fashion.ie who claim two daily New York papers have been fed information that these two are gay lovers.
Don't papers have shit to write about? Like the war in iraq? That capsized ferry? Mariah Carey's perfume demands?
Something fishy is going on!
We've been contacted by entertainment reporters – within days of each other – from the NY Post and the NY Daily News.They both wanted to share a juicy piece of info – too juicy to print, they said.
Seems like on-set sources, which the pubs tell us are reliable, have told each paper that Chace Crawford and Gossip Girl co-star and real-life roommate Ed Westwick are in a relationship and not trying to hide it, at least on set. BOTH NY papers tell us that Chace and Ed were recently seen kissing, open-mouthed on set. Very interesting!
The Post and Daily News both declined to publish this item because they don't like to "out" people. Uh huh. We find that quite hypocritical, as both papers have had no problem talking about Lindsay Lohan's relationship with Samantha Ronson. So…. Are Chace and Ed dating????
To be honest I don't give a shit and this still isn't going to make me watch Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl is like a the contents of a basin placed under tv's asshole when it's douching. I tried to watch an episode of that shit but my brain would not take it and climbed out of my head, grabbed the remote, and turned to I LOVE NEW YORK. Then it ran off with an asian midget and this blog was born.
Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker isn’t a gay.
Jun 17th
One of the best parts of America's Next Top Model is watching Tyra introduce Nigel Barker as "noted fashion photographer" each and every time. Bitch probably does that at dinner parties too, "Ah, here's my friend, Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker". Then she introduces each of her asscheeks "Ah here is the western asscheek, noted for it's sheer scale by various gossip blogs"
Anyway, with all that makeup, familiarity with fashion and celebrities, i was 100% sure that Noted Fashion Photographer smoked pole like a bitch on heat! I was also apparently wrong as Nigel has children and a wife! Although with Vin Diesel's beard getting knocked up there is no telling. What is wrong with my gaydar? Why is it so wonk? Wonk like Paris Hilton's eyes or Tara Reids tits.
Hey, that reminds me, what the fuck is Tara Reid doing these days. Let's ask noted fashion photographer since he is so up to scratch on celebrities and all things homo.
Praise the Gay Gods!
May 31st
The Gay Gods are shining down upon us today because they've finally posted pictures of Hugh Jackman frolicking shirtless in the ocean with another man. Could this be the man everyone thinks is his boyfriend? I hope so because these pictures have nurtured my inner gay.
I don't care how many people say Hugh is a mean queen, I'd still hit it out of the ballpark.
Dignity and Beauty.
Sep 17th
Heidi Montag is introducing her friend Fat Carrot as the one and only person on earth who is a bigger douchebag than her. Fat Carrot is looking at Heidis mouth to see if there's any food stuck to her teeth he can hoarde. That chick on the right has the good game plan. At that party you're going to need some stronger shit than just whisky to see the night through, your going to need fucking nail varnish remover and a magnum.
Someone should just fire up the coals and stick an apple in Perez's mouth already. Damn that piglet could solve all of Africas food problems for at least 8 years.
Vanessa Hudgens Plays With Fire
Sep 10th
This is such a dramatic story with so much contoversy that I barely know where to start. How's about with Zac Efron. He's obviously homosexual. Flamingly so. I know this because all the tabloids say so, and we all know they can not tell a lie.
Well Zac is trying to save face to the teenage girls who for some unknown reason still find themselves watching Disney but are the main source of celebrity he's got. How does he do this? By denying it of course. Well he's obviously straight. Just look at Vanessa Hudgens, his hired girlfriend who's like hot and sexy and is completely in love with him during photo shoots. Frighteningly so.
Yes Zac. Of course we believe you. She must be your girlfriend. Unfortunately, Vanessa Hudgens, also believes this web of lies that he's been spinning. She even took nude photographs of herself and sent them to "her boyfriend" Zac via email (because we all know that's the safest way to send a file that could potentially destroy a career). How does Zac respond to the indecency of having to look at a female sporting her birthday suit?
Ew.No seriously ew. What the F** is this Shit? Wait that girl looks vaguely familiar north of the bush. Oh it's that girl. What's her name again? Oh right. Paid Girlfriend.
(if you look closely you can see a lightbulb light up almost as bright as his bleached teeth)
What if I sent this to Perez and pretended he hacked into my account? That would be instant hetero status. Zac Efron you are a genius.
Yes you are. now you should also be aware of the fact that you talk to yourself and about yourself in the third person but we don't have enough time to go there. We do however have just enough time to mention that Vanessa wasn't so pleased at the results of her trying to seduce him. Neither was Disney. She was canned shortly after the public exposure (yay puns) and will now sing as a background singer for Britney Spears or in the underground. Whichever one gets more viewers.
A message from Zac
Sep 4th
Here at The Deli we constantly laugh at those gossip magazines who fake their own stories for money. You wouldn't believe it, since starting my temp job (I'm hoping to actually kill seduce the owner of this site into something permanent paying me for my service) here at The Deli, I was hoping to write funny hard hitting stories and be true to myself and write the truth. I was shocked last night when I received an email from Zac Efron's publicist Moomi Carey. Zac wrote a personal statement for the world to see.
Hi my name is Zac Efron. You might know me from such classics as High School Musical, and most recently High School Musical 2.
I hear there are people talking about me out there about what do I like, cock or vagg. Lemme tell you sumthin' bitches. Mind you own fucking business or I will have sex with my paid girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens. I love Vanessa so much. Like lotsa love and shit.
I know you people are boring and sad, that is why you think I suck cock? Am I right or am I right? I mean look at Perez Hilton. His site is boring and full of sad fools who laugh at him and not with him. LMFAO at people who take a photo of themselves and say I LUV PEREZ. I mean that shit is so gay like who the fuck does that?! Oh Perez, get off you fat ass and stop convincing yourself that Wentworth Miller is gay because of you.
But back to my point of this statement: Do you really think I use too much spray tan?
Anyways I hope you bitches hang loose and have heaps of sex.
This is Zac Efron, pleading with you to ignore those rumors because I said so. Cya bye!!!
Only @ The Deli can you see the truth. We are bullshit free. Actually, that was bullshit that I wrote on a lonely Saturday night. Still I think Zac is trying to reach out to us. So Zac, stay away from the Vanessa slut, she's K-Fed with tits.
Oh and Zac, you use way too much.
Image Source: Just Jared
Zac Efron’s Rolling Stone cover is mind-boggling.
Aug 8th
How much is it photoshopped? Why did they put that girls head on that guys body? What the hell is he doing with his arm? Is he gay? So many questions raised by the new homoerotic Rolling Stone cover from Zac Efron.
I mean, there's really nothing I enjoy more than seeing kids grow up under the pressure of Hollywood to look good – because for at least 4 years, they actually do look really, really fucking good. I'd hit it quicker than Moomi can eat. But if you had a personal trainer named Ziclief Helganstien and a microchip that stops your heart for several seconds if you even look at a bagel, then you'd look like this too. I want to know what brand his teeth are. Hot cover, can we move on?
Brett Rattners first blowjob was from a tranny.
Aug 6th
Brett Rattner has revealed his first blowjob came from a tranny. This has nothing to do with the awful quality of his films. Or It could have everything to do with the awful quality of his films. I'll let you decide based upon your level of tranny-friendliness.
He tells Advocate magazine, "My first blow job was from a man, but I didn't know it was a man. That's where that comes from. It's based on personal experience. It happens to a lot of people.
"That happens to a lot of heterosexuals. You meet a girl in a bar and it turns out she's not a girl. I think a girl should tell you if she's a girl or a man – that way it's your preference. The reaction is "Oh, s**t!" if you're not gay, which is funny, I think."
Brett I can 100% relate buddy, I get blowjobs from trannies all the time and afterwards I'm like, hey, you have a dick! That's not fair man! And then I realize it's just Fergie. Brett Rattner is just an ordinary hetro guy who happened to get into a situation that all ordinary hetro guys get into! All of my buddies have been sucked off by trannys at least once. I mean, every bar I go to there's at least 5 trannys so it's really kind of a roulette of "am I or am I not going to feel a dick against my leg when we hit the next base in the bathroom?" .
Oh wait I'm lying. He's definitely a gay.
Loading ...