Clinto Earle from Pontefract wants to make it in Hollywood, which is actually likely since Ru Paul’s Drag Race is a hot topic.

This tranny mess forced himself all over BBC3’s amazing and awesome SNOG MARRY AVOID show to get a makeunder, and gave us a great scene where he walked down Rathbone Place slowmo to a bad instrumental version of ‘If I Were a Boy’. Greatness.

Britneys' Vagina wishes you a great day.

I should’ve known that with all of the skimpy outfits on The Trailer Park Comes to Town The Circus tour that Britney Spears would fall victim to a wardrobe malfunction at some point, but three shows in is pretty impressive, especially since she was caught on a live mic (!) saying “my pussy is hanging out” after a mysteriously shit performance of Slave 4 U. 
 

Evidently having your pussy hanging out doesn’t lend itself to great dancing.  We are all slaves to Britney’s pussy because it’s pretty big and angry and If i’ve learned one thing in my lifetime it’s that you should never tell the truth. If i’ve learned two things it’s that you should never tell the truth and always be kind to an angry pussy.

Amanda Bynes’ career hasn’t been on fire lately, so the obvious solution to  a lack of roles is new lips!

I totally get this logic. When im not performing at work i just stuff a sausage into my top lip and suddenly my career hits new highs. Everyone thinks bruised housewife is a sexy look. If that doesn’t work then i lick my top lip lusciously, then everyone gets the REAL look i was going for, that being person with lips most likely to give great oral sex.

It’s not over yet, it’s time for Korrgan’s Worst Dressed List. A lot of surprising names for sure. Korrgan obviously has a vendetta against some of them, so we will drop her off at Promises before the end of the week.

LA-Deli’s Worst Dressed Stars can be found after the jump

[Images: Getty Images, Wire Image]

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I can't explain it, but every time i see an Amy Winehouse picture i can suddenly seriously smell shit. Like proper dog deuces. I think Winos pictures actually emanate a scent to attract other crackwhores and I am mistaking this scent for crap.

I can't wait for some magazine to crown her a fashion icon. I love it when magazines try and get their asses coverage by saying Britney Spears is like, a new revolution in feminism. That shit is a flat out lie and they know it, we know, everyone knows it, but it still gets that shit press!

This whole Amy Winehouse thing is way beyond a joke now. Girl needs to fiix herself because she is at deaths door and that's not cute.

La Deli's weather report read by Gwyneth Paltrow

Thank You. It's me Gwyneth, child of Satan & mother of fruit. Today is going to be very windy, very windy indeed. My vagina was overexposed today at the premiere for my new movie, Iron Man. Please see it. My husband's new song is shit and I would really like Sweet & Sour Pork for dinner on Friday night. It could be sunny again next week where I hibernate with my Apple & Moses over summer.  Anyway thanks, guys! Kathy Griffin your vag smells like fish.

Feminist icon Heidi Montag and general asshole Spencer Pratt are seen here in Washington D.C having a very real and spontaneous moment of love overlooking some of it's finest landmarks. This was a beautiful journey of patriotism and romantic connection between two innocent lovebirds in a city of history.

Abe Lincoln would vomit at this. Then squeeze Heidi's fake funbags. 

Britney Spears is making her crazy look like a distant memory these days, and in a shocking move of sanity she stepped out not wearing her rats nest!

Amy Wino was said to be a little sad that shes the only celeb left rocking truly terrible hair. She sent Britney a text message saying

"OI, BRITANY, WHAT R U DOIN U DAFT COW ? U HAF 2 KEEP UR HAIR LIKE IT WAS CAUSE I CANT DO DIS ALONE. PPL WILL FINK I AM A RITE BELLEND! R U STILL CRAZY OR WAT? TEA AND CRACK. WINO."

Britney, not one to turn her back on a fellow disaster, russled a dump truck and sent a clear message to wino that they are still sisters in skank.

Why does no one tell her this isn't okay? Theres obviously people telling her that the fug and crazy is unacceptable. Jamie Spears just needs time. It's like taking weening a baby from the boob. You can't stop all at once or it bites and Brit Brit is sharp in the tooth.

Mariah Carey is on the album promotion season right now. Yes she goes through seasons like a dog, and she probably dry humps Jack too. Just kidding, Jack wears the pants and does that ho right in the pooper! Gross. Anyway, Mimi's album promo season is basically like Christmas because she gives and gives and gives…ridiculous moments of awesomeness. This picture is a classic case of what I call "Scrolldown Stairs to Hell" Because you can gently scroll down and it's all looking okay, but you will reach a point where you know you have reached the layer of satan himself.

And yes, the red hooker platforms are hell,  I am so proud of you for getting that one. My readers are smart, like foxes. Foxes are smart until they get run over, eaten by dogs, kicked by thugs, shot by pest control or worn by Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone alone is actually probably going to kill all the foxes on earth. She is the universes way of turning over the circle of life. And by universe i mean the devil, and by the devil, i mean Mariah Careys fugly platform shoes.

Angelina has been covering her big fat baby belly with just whatevers been handy really for a few weeks now and she decided she was tired of having to carry shit infront of her fat bump and instead announced it by wearing a skintight black dress. She thought she could maybe take a little bit of the attention away from herself by making sure that Brad looked hella fug.

Brad thinks hes in the 70s and that isn't the truth. Jennifer Aniston is coming out of this shit looking like roses because his hot has faded significantly in recent years and Maniston's is pretty much staying the same. She is having baby fat injected though or some shit because you do not hit 39 and still look like a 28 year old where im from. Brangelina are so old. Speidi is so now!

Speidi are going to win Oscars! They will rule the world!