Britney Spears
Britney Fugwatch: A Sorry Journey begins.
Feb 4th
As hard as it is to believe, Fergie has more or less graduated from Fugwatch now. Her afflicted face seems to have slightly recovered – no doubt thanks to massively talented makeup artists. Lets not pop open any champagne, she still looks like my beat prostitute aunt, but there is a new threat of ug so great that Fugwatch had to prioritize.
Britney Spears, what the fuck do you think your doing?
We gave you like, two entire years of looking ugly and we justified it with your trash husband and unfortunate double pregnancy, but seriously there is no way that you can excuse looking like the angry batchild now that you are apparently attempting a musical comeback. Unless you are doing some sort of Bat Out of Hell spin-off with Meatloaf, in which case this is acceptable because you’ve just murdered your musical career anyway.
Really, Britney, we are trying hard here sweetie – give us something. We know you’ve got it in you!
Britney Spears: “I love my fans!”
Jan 5th
After the extensive damage to her image caused by the closure of worldofbritney.com and the subsequent war of words between Perez Hilton, Rueben Garay and manager Larry Rudolph, Britney herself has posted a letter on her website in which she claims her album is going great, everything you read about her is a twisted lie and that she loves her fans, despite what the closure of worldofbritney.com might have suggested when Garay himself posted an alleged IM conversation with Larry Rudolph in which Rudolph said that Spears didn’t “give a shit” about anyone but herself.
The post by Spears includes the following
I noticed today that one of my biggest fansites is shutting down soon and I want you all to know that I do understand all the reasons that went behind making that decision, and I am sad to see it closing. If I were you I’d be unhappy too if I had to read what I’ve been reading every day. But trust me, I get it. I know I’ve been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Â
All I can say is this ho has a lot more damage control to do yet before her old fans are going to have any interest in her, and her first single needs to be the hottest track of the year if she wants to truly make a big comeback.
Britney apparently not aware enough…
Jan 4th
According to her manager, Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears is well aware of her public image breakdown calling it her “rocky” stage, but she will have an album out in the fall regardless. With that, I would like to take a moment to caution you that the image you are about to see contains extreme levels of ugliness. I know we have seen ugly together over the past year at The Deli, I mean we’ve had the joy of Fergie all up in our retinas haven’t we? Well take Fergie and times her by like, 90…
I’m not sure if “rocky” really covers the true extent of mental damage that the above image has just inflicted on many thousands of innocent people. It is a cut so deep that no amount of extremely hot airbrushed FHM pictorials can erase it. Seriously, Britney this album better be shit hot or i’ll be shouting at you for giving me the wrong kind of McFlurry in six years!
Truth about Britney comes out in web bitchfight?
Dec 29th
The talk of the web lately has been the shutting down of the nasty ass worldofbritney.com website run by the egotistical twat Ruben Garay. After he announced that he felt Britney Spears was “done” and that the site was closing, the equally unsavoury Perez Hilton revealed an email which showed Garay begging Spears’ management to cover his web bills because he had sold the site years ago and it faced closure unless he could pay $50,000 to buy the site.Turns out Larry Rudolph, Britneys manager, seems to have forwarded the email to PerezHilton in return for good press for Britney (according to Garay) . In a bitter act of reprisal, Garay responded by posting this conversation he had with Rudolph about Britney after she stood up two fans who won a fan competition to meet her…
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Britney Spears’ inner turmoil continues.
Dec 23rd
Hot Britney and Trailer Skank Britney are currently fighting for control of the body. Like, most people have an angel and a devil on their shoulders, but Britney has a mid-drift baring teen slut on one shoulder and a pudgy, spotty std infected trollop on the other. She seems to be resisting the temptation of hotness. I beg her to reconsider. Look at these two pictures taken days apart. Is this even the same person or is Britney’s secret slow twin suddenly trying to steal away the limelight? Hot Britney has no chance considering Trailer Skank Britney has an array of broken bottles at her disposal.
Britney Spears: ‘Sorry. Bought Panties. K thnx’
Dec 7th
After the media uproar at Britney Spears‘ partying antics despite the recent birth of her second child, and widespread criticism from middle aged magazine writers who’s husbands are cheating on them with their younger assistants, Britney has finally spoken out about her wild child phase on her official website, calming the fear amongst Britney fans that they may have been tricked into donating money to a tiger culling organisation.
This is what we call damage control in the world of P.R. I’m glad Britney thinks that showing her vagina and c-section scar to the world is stuff to be taken lightly. Do you see anyone cracking a joke about the people jumping out of the twin towers Britney? Or how about the Hiroshima bomb? Do you? Because I don’t! How insensitive of her to be playful about a subject that is still very raw in the minds of thousands of blind National Enquirer readers.
Britney Fugwatch Continues.
Dec 3rd
As the media world becomes increasingly consumed with its obsession of seeing Britney Spears make a good and proper comeback to the sexy skank we all know and love, The Deli has no option but to masturbate over / vomit over the varying pictures of Britney Spears as she rides the long and bumpy road back to hotness, taking several detours and forgetting her panties a lot along the way. So apologies, but this is what you sluts keep buying! Britney eating a bagel can still sell more magazines than Demi Moore dry humping Ashton Kutcher’s face whilst being butt fucked by Bruce Willis.
Lets look at more pictures from Britney’s 25th Birthday, I still can’t believe it’s been seven years since I discovered the meaning of titillation.
Britney Spears dates her ex.
Dec 3rd
Britney Spears is seen her going out on a dinner date with her former manager, Larry Rudolph, the same man who made her a star.
She is also seen wearing the same dress that made Asia Carrera a star. Just kidding. A Britney Spears who has her snatch hidden and her hair extensions looking relatively in place is a Britney Spears I want to get to know better.
Dear Britney
Nov 27th
At the risk of this website turning into an advice column for Britney Spears, I think there are a few things that need to be said to Britney Spears apart from “Where are your babies!? Do you even know?”
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Sean Preston should bathe in bleach.
Nov 26th
No, Britney. NO.
Poor Sean Preston has suffered more trash in his short life than Hottie from the Flavor Of Love, and that is A LOT of trash. Britney needs to know right now that Paris is totally pissing her cum stained panties at the prospect of being near her. Bitch knows that Britters is the top tabloid fodder in the world and I can guarantee she will try and steal her baby to make headlines. She is kind of like Peyton Flanders in The Hand that Rocked the Cradle, if only Britney would push her out of the window. Looks like Britney might have caught skank from Paris though, that leopard skin thing says trashy hooker in a way that is only rivalled by a bukkake tshirt.
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