Everyone knows that Trailer Muffin hasn’t sung a damn live note in her entire Circus tour, the croaky frog living inside her cheeto-lined throat wont get out of bed for any less than $75 a day. I guess Britney had saved up from the extra money she’s saving from McDonalds and paid the croaky frog to do his thing, since she sung Alanis Morisette’s You Oughta Know 100% in Greensboro last night. Lil Croakers also managed a LINE of her own song Everytime.  Britney fans were moist across the land and the croaky frog is totally spent how. He’s chilling on her tonsils with a pipe right now. A job well done? You decide (but be nice ; the croaky frog is sensitive)

Just when WOMB-AND-IZAH had finally been drop kicked from my brain, it has managed to claw its way back in thanks to the motherfucking VMAs. Britney Spears lifted 7 nominations for Circus and Womanizer’s videos. They just nominate her to get her there. She is up against Lady Gaga and Beyonce who have 9 nominations each for Poker Face, Paparazzi and Single Trannies respectively.

More importantly, here is Britney Spears next to a malnourished orphan.

Many were shocked and worried that Spears had brazenly decided to take to the party scene last night, but their minds will be put at rest when they see she was simply going out to give a dying, emaciated orphan her final wish.

We saw the Brit Brit ‘If I Dance I’ll Get Mah Baybees Back’ Tour when it rolled it’s southern fried ass into London and thought it was great. Yes we love that trailer muffin like a cat loves milk, and like Lindsay Lohan loves attention. We aren’t sorry, and neither is this ho who went to see Britney.

This glitterbomb called Troy Miller took a little trip to the Circus himself and before Muffin even dropped from the sky to the stage he was an emotional wreck. Troy, don’t worry, we understand, seeing such trailer park elegance brought the happy times to us too. But Troy is seriously weeping like Brit Brit is Mother Theresa back by the Miracle of Rebirth. Maybe she is?

But the real gift to the world isn’t just troy’s weeping glands from the arrival of the Queen of Fraps, Troy also has many videos of his glittery self getting his grooooove on to Britney in his room. For reference – his wall is covered with the following posters – Obsessed with Beyonce and Ali Larter, 17 Again with Zac Efron and finally the Hannah Montana Movie.

Troy also gets a little frisky with a pole in his rendition of trailer muffin’s radar. I’ll let you scar yourself with that one.

Looks like Britney Spears’ fans are going to receive a Christmas present this year from Britney, after she twitted that she was back in the studio with Max Martin in Stockholm.

Speculation is that she’s back in the studio for a possible re-release of her latest album “Circus”, a new album, Christmas CD or she just wanted to give a microphone a blowjob. It’s all rather exciting but I hope to see more tracks in the vain of Blackout than something like My Baby.

If you were wondering why all the local prostitutes and other trailer people emerged from their local diners and howled at the sky shedding a lone tear today it is because Trailer Muffin is in danger!

The National Enquirer (uh) alleges that Trailer Muffin hasn’t been eating right and is working out too much. Apparently she fell on a dancers leg (DEAD BITCH) and somehow in this picture she got kicked in the face.

This reminds me of that time i collapsed on tour. It was really sad, because when i collapsed i fell into a huge sea of wangs and vaginas, and everyone was screaming my name. It was followed with a lot of sexy sex and then I rode home on a unicorn. It may or may not have been reality.

Okay this really is turning into Britney Spears week, but what can I say, people love this trailer muffin. Britney’s new song should totally be Muffin Top.

Anywang, Britney is back in the headlines again after accusations that her Candies ads were *gasp* airbrushed. People were shocked! The world stopped turning! It turns out someone at Britney’s PR machine wanted the world to know otherwise and leaked the unairbrushed version to that douchebag PerezHilton.

Before

After

So now we know instead that makeup is mainly to blame for this, and she’s not a fatty boom boom. Clearly theres been lighting adjustments, a little tweaking on the hair, and her top has been pulled out and ass pulled in to make her look un-natural in her proportions and actually now you see the after it looks physically impossible.

We are pretty certain Candies put a big chunk towards the budget of the shitty ass Radar video, which would explain why it makes no sense for the song.

Thanks for promoting a ridiculous body image, Candies!

Oh NOW Magazine, what were you thinking? Their latest report on Trailer Muffin Spears claims that girl is going crazy again – a conclusion scientifically drawn by the world because Britney dyed her hair brown - seriously. But unfortunately instead of making the claim on the basis of her hair color alone, the magazine goes on to add in some fun quotes like

“The (engagement) ring was dismissed as a stunt to help publicise her tour – ticket sales have bombed”

You can say whatever about this ho, but to say the most spectacularly sold out Southern Fried tour of the decade is bombing is like saying that Michael Jackson is totally okay and is wondering around the streets of Los Angeles – people can see otherwise without having to look very far. The article continued on to say….

‘ Among the signs that Britney’s state of mind is worse than ever is her bizarre belief that unicorns are real and live in a zoo in New Zealand.

She’s been obsessed with unicorns lately – it’s really upset her that they’re fictional’

OH MY GOD i remember when my parents told me unicorns werent real, it was the saddest day of my life. I think it’s safe to say the only comedy value to be derived here is how fucking crazy NOW magazine is for actually printing this.

Well, we mean old by new. Mannequin is one of the finer points in Britney’s musical career, a grinding, attitude filled and unusual pop-track with ethereal backing sounds. We at LA-Deli have been big fans of the track from her Circus album and clearly, Team Trailer Muffin is too, they added the song in a one-track interlude between segues. Enjoy.

Spears performing hit 'Boys' on tour

Britney Spears brought her worldwide sell-out ‘I Get To Dance for Mah Baybees‘ tour (aka The Circus Tour) to Paris this weekend and France are best left in the dark about cheese grits, as im sure they’d be offended by the violation of dairy.

Anywhoo, Britney celebrated the new leg of her tour  with a sexy dark brown hairdo and a “I didn’t eat no muffins this munth y’all, i swear it!” body. She is also debuting a dance to her song ‘Mannequin‘ in the tour tonight according to her twitter.

Britney was brunette for the european dates of her last tour, 2004’s Onyx Hotel.

I prefer my trailer muffins blonde.

Thanks to Exhale for these great pictures.

Britney Spears’ new song Radar is about a year and a half old now, but is still awesome. That said, the video had such potential to be a total navy themed vid. Britney on a boat, like Cher, except from the trailer park. Trailer-Cher if you will. Anyway Britney instead decided to go for the very popular and current theme of horses and polo for the video instead. And of course the video features Britney sitting a lot (yes, this IS an uptempo dance song) in slow-motion and then a horse shaking his money maker whilst being watered down, slowmo style, to the words “animal in the sack, think i can handle that!”

And yet im still okay with this, because it’s Britney.