Avril Lavigne
Also an analogy for virginity and vajayjay.
Jun 2nd
Avril Lavigne chose to call her fragrance “Forbidden Rose”. I for one am surprised that she didn’t call it any of the more obvious choices like “Hot Topic”, “Black, Pink and Teardrops” or even “Lavigne: The Twihard Saga”.
The narrator invites you to “dare to discover” Avril’s “Forbidden Rose“. Which i would except that she-male Brody Jenner is currently parked firmly in her “forbidden rose” and shows no sign of moving his feminine hips out of that general area any time soon.
I wonder, after she climaxes, does she sing “My Immortal” by Evanesence? You can see Brody lighting a spliff while she takes care of “her angsty shit”. Give the girl a fountain and some play-school scissors and she’ll take care of the angst a lot faster!
NO THANKS.
Feb 17th
This sounds like an Alanis Morisette impersonator recorded a demo which was then lost in the hair of Robert Pattinson for a few months before it was rewritten in fake blood on a tree.
HATE.
Avril Lavigne will kick you in the box.
Feb 21st
Avril Lavigne is about as punk as a gay poodle, but that doesn't mean she doesn't try to keep up appearances. Take this nugget from her Maxim magazine interview for example.
Some chick came up to me and got in my face and said something, so I kicked her in the box and shoved her. I don't go looking for fights, but if someone comes up to me and pushes me, I'm not going to take it.
Not only is she a master of words, but she is also pretty fond of kicking people "in the box". I kicked my girlfriend in the box once. There was blood and death. It wasn't a good time.
Avril continued…
'You're not punk rock, blah, blah, blah .. .' Look, I never once said I was punk. I don't want to be punk. I'm just a really strong, opinionated person.
Is this bitch for real? I have seriously met corpses more opinionated than this trash. I just so happen to live in a cemetary and have a penchant for digging up opinionated corpses though. It gets better
"After this interview, I'm going to go up the Sunset Strip with my friend, get wasted … and get pizza. I'm the kind of girl who, when I go to a bar or a club, I just want to get wasted, dance and hang out."
Ah yes, theres nothing quite like the girl who throws up a vodka pizza mix in your mouth to take home for a night of passion. Avril Lavigne is clearly a sophistocated catch of a girl. Okay i can't lie any more im going to find this bitch and kick her box and see how she likes it! Dumb slut can't go about kicking in vaginas like thats a hot thing to do, because kicking the babyburper is not pretty and not civil! It's like being slapped on the balls. That is no fun for anyone. Bitch.
Avril needs a tampon
Oct 5th
It occurred to me while watching Avril Lavigne's new music video that the women has 1-week-old menstrual blood on her hair. Jeez Avril, be a woman and shove a tampax up your vagina. Like how the fuck did the blood get all the way up there? Is that normal or do you bleed from the mouth as well.
The song was called "Hot". Try harder bitch.
Avril Lavigne is indeed a bitch.
Apr 2nd
Groundbreaking news just in from the cold nasty jealous media depraved whore RSS feed: Avril Lavigne is a stuck up bitch!
Granted i’d rather shoot my own balls off than be in the same room as Alex Zane, but Popworld interviews are supposed to be tounge in cheek and lighthearted you dumb ho! You made an awful tween pop record, you didn’t fucking save the lives of billion dying children so stop acting like it, jesus christ! Canada is damn lucky they have the hot crazy of Celine Dion to balance out the atrociousness that is Avril Lavigne, it is Celine who has saved Canada from appearing on the axis of evil thus far.
Avril Lavigne is a jealous whore.
Apr 1st
Avril Lavigne has attacked Britney Spears for not being tough enough for showbiz. Lavigne who was once conisdered the anti-Britney before she morphed into a teen pop princess herself said “What’s happened to Britney is all down to who she is as a person. If you want a piece of this business you have to be able to deal with it You can’t complain about the pressures, the paparazzi, the madness because that’s the job.†Brit, 25, has recently been in rehab. But Avril says while she too likes boozing, she can handle it and “no one really gets to knowâ€.
Avril Lavigne attacking Britney Spears for cracking under the pressure of fame is sort of like your father attacking your mother for complaining about the agony of her period. Just like Avril Lavigne is jealous of Britney Spears for having media attention which she doesn’t have, your father is jealous of your mother for having titties and a snatch. Watch him around her panty drawer, those stains aren’t really soap powder!
Whilst Britney Spears is followed by 25 strong paparazzi everywhere she goes, all desperate to get a glimpse of her ear or her wig or even the man standing a few feet away from her who actually has nothing to do with her, Avril Lavigne would be lucky to have one retarded cow following her skanky ass around town, because watching Avril Lavigne driving around town in her Barbie Jeep and yelping for attention like the neurotic little prostitute she is isn’t quite as interesting as watching Britney Spears shaving all her hair off and screaming at people wielding an umbrella. I think the only solution is for Britney Spears to eat Avril Lavigne on live television and then take a dump on her new cd. This would please me greatly and I think it may also lead to world peace.
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