Amy Wino might be starring in a movie which some dumb bitch at ITN news likened to Michelle Pfieffer in Dangerous Minds. Really this isn’t news, but ITN has nothing else to do with it’s budget, so why not? And of course it allowed a great clip of Wino to be shown which demonstrates how her sheer grace and elegance are unrivalled by anything mere mortals can even aspire to be! You need to be a digital angel to rival Wino’s poise.

Amy Cokehouse’s new year resolutions must be working. The beehive is gone. She eats. She only does coke four times a day, and she is getting layed by a hot piece of ass.

Like most celebrities who are allergic to the winter cold, she’s gone to the Caribbean, and that means shirtlessness and bikinis.

Cokehouse’s latest man is England Rugby player Josh Bowman. Yes, I would like to go into a scrum with him.

[ Photos: Islandpaps/Splash News Online/People.com ]

When I was 12 I was snorting coke and doing crystal meth whilst talking to clothes hampers so I guess im not too impressed, but Amy Winehouse recently dragged her 12 year old god daughter into a nightclub where she proceeded to.

• Get Plastered
• Fall on her face.
• Barge into the DJ box to abuse the DJ.
• Punch a fan
• Throw glasses at the paparazzi

More than anything I'd like to meet the mother who left her 12 year old daughter with Amy Winehouse. That bitch needs charged with attempted murder. I bet the 12 year old was confused and shit when her mother was crying and kissing her forehead goodbye when Wino showed up to take her away.

When I was a kid my parents threatened my cute behind with "the bad boys home" if I didn't behave. They used to make me believe it was this house on the hill down from where I lived. My ass shit stones and shut the hell up when they threatened that crap. Kids these days need discipline and threatening them with a trip to Auntie Amy is the perfect way to keep those tiny cute bundles of shit and peepee in line!

I suppose having a song called Disturbia, gave Rihanna permission to give me the hebejeebees. Triceratops discovers her African roots in what appears to be an homage to the video game Silent Hill. I mean if raping mannequins and having tarantulas crawl up my arm makes me feel sexy then maybe I should try it. But instead of a mannequin I use Zac Efron, and instead of tarantulas I use Amy Winehouse's pubic hairs.

I can't explain it, but every time i see an Amy Winehouse picture i can suddenly seriously smell shit. Like proper dog deuces. I think Winos pictures actually emanate a scent to attract other crackwhores and I am mistaking this scent for crap.

I can't wait for some magazine to crown her a fashion icon. I love it when magazines try and get their asses coverage by saying Britney Spears is like, a new revolution in feminism. That shit is a flat out lie and they know it, we know, everyone knows it, but it still gets that shit press!

This whole Amy Winehouse thing is way beyond a joke now. Girl needs to fiix herself because she is at deaths door and that's not cute.

Amy Winehouse was sent to the police station today after she basically beat the shit out of two guys in a pub. One because he was playing pool and Wino decided she was ready to play and his ass better step aside, the other because he was hailing a cab for her and Wino decided he was trying to molest her sexy body and hit him. She is such an elegant lady. I remember at my etiquette training, that is exactly what they told us to do too. If you want something from life, beat a bitch down! Okay maybe it wasn't so much etiquette training as crack-dealer training, i can't remember really, i was high throughout.

Heres Wino out last night partying her ass off. She is a funny crack clown. Just like the one at my 4th Birthday party who showed me his hoohaa.

She'd pen this!

I like the way i used yellow here to show her insanity.

I've known this for a while, but Amy Wino can't sing for shit any more! And the proof is in her EMA performance! Shit girl should just give it up and start selling drugs from her hair! And i don't mean using it as a stash bag, i mean seriously just giving people strands of her hair to lick because that shit is going to get you high as a kite in a technicolour dream!

Awesomeness ensues halfway when she gives up trying to sing words and just starts re-enacting The Exorcism of Emily Rose. The Exorcism of Crack Hoez more like.

Source: ONTD