Don’t be afraid little one, we are aware that the site is still in a bit of a mess following our latest rebirth, but we can assure you that the swelling will go down and you’ll be back to basics with this old trick at the same street corner you’ve always gone  to do for freaky things with urine and kittens.

Yes we had some serious downtime this weekend, sorry about that, our hosts were playing hard to get, and by that I mean they weren’t fucking answering my emails.

Anywho, i know there are some areas of the site that look like a bad episode of How Clean is your House before the Aggie shows people how their house breeds nearly as many diseases as Paris Hilton after a night at Pure, but we will get there! And if we don’t then we might switch onto a different style that suits our skankylicious but elegant nature better.

Hate the new look altogether? Let us know too.

I’m not sure if any of you have put down the Vodka and Vicodin Jellies long enough in the past two years to remember back to a darker time when we were called THE-DELI.ORG. It was a time when traffic flowed freely from bigger sites who embraced us with their warm, slutty bussoms.

It was a time when the celebrity blog genre was a lesser evil, rather than becoming that tingly and smarting rash that joined the party in your pants.

Anyway that time was TWO longggggg YEARS ago now, and I remember because I forgot to PAY THA DAMN BILLS back then, losing  The-Deli.org to some dastardly villain called ARMONDO WOODS.  That is a name that can only ever be shouted as if you are falling down a giant pit. ARMONDOOOOOOOOO!

If this were a Telenova  Armondo would be the retarded girl in a wheelchair who is secretly evil, not retarded or disabled, and plotting to overthrow everyone. I would be the one with big hair and a great bitchface.

In all fairness, ARMONDOOOOOO! is updating that joke trick used prostitute cumstain site more than I am updating this luscious and gracious home for your ehabits. You sluts know the score -new job, new place, new tricks to pull on strangers,  new street corners to vomit on – it can be time consuming!

But fear not, as we’ve just renewed the site for another season (And Conan wasn’t invited back either) you can expect the next updates a little sooner.

And like Moomi at a country steak buffet, we never forgive, and never forget ARMANDOOOOOO!

Because we are as talented as we are beautiful, we decided to offer our readers free wallpapers displaying their love for LA-Deli. Spread the joy and follow us on twatter.

For the goods, see after the JUMP

(more…)

LA-Deli would like to apologize again for access issues.

It would appear someone or something at our host’s server farm keeps fucking shit up. Which is highly annoying. We will work towards getting a resolution and If we cannot, we will move to a different host.

Apologies.

For 30 Rock, which Deli Llama is spending his independence day weekend in Britain watching. With fat. Just eating lard, watching 30 Rock, Life is good. Hope you all have a great ID4 Weekend.

Okay so I’m sure you guys are aware LA Deli had serious downtime before the return we’ve been making, and in addition the site tends to be slow and sometimes unavailable. This is a problem we are aware of and are working with our hosts to fix. This should be resolved in the next 48 hours. If you guys are having any problems then please contact us and let us know.

Thanks again for reading!

Don’t forget to log on July 13th for a special 4th Birthday edition of the site. Which will LOOK exactly like every other day, but this time, i’ll ber watching the hits.

Score, team-make-us-some-money!

Follow us on Twatter 

http://twitter.com/ladeli

You are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can’t bring you down

You are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can’t bring you down

Don’t you bring me down today…

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL OUR READERS

The Old Horse is AMUSED.

Incase you haven’t already seen, the website is undergoing a bit of an overhaul for 09. This is all very serious business and it will be undertaken with a mixture of cocktails in hand. Not Mojitos though, the only time i can deal with mojitos is when im at the stage of drinking that my tastebuds have surrendered and gone sleepytimes.

Anyway if shit starts to fuck up then email me your weepy tears because weepy tears are the most delicious kind.

Hi sluts, hoes and horses looking for Sarah Jessica-Parker gossip!

Just a post to inform you all of this sexy development. We are now writing a weekly column for worldofkj.com.

Worldofkj is a prominent movie site which has news and box office shit all up in that house.  They also have craploads of giveaway competitions in conjunction with the big movie studios, so that shit is hot too if you want to win dvds. We are interested in movies, and owe a lot to KJ as old friends, so this shit makes good sense in my tiny mind. You can catch LA Deli movie related content up in thurr. 

Don't worry though, we will be linking you guys to every LA Deli article written there. So you don't miss any of the sexy goodness. And by sexy goodness i mean poorly written trash! You love it.

Go check the site out now and see our first article.