About
Return »LA Deli is one of many. A sea of websites designed to defame and slaughter celebrities It's true original intent is not just make fun of famous people; but rather provide a form of satire concerning the media and our cultures idolisation, glamorisation and obsession with all things celebrity.
We set out to take the already ridiculous lies of the tabloid media and exaggerate them even further to illustrate the gravity of lies we are told on a daily basis by both tabloids and starlets seeking celebrity. Yet, somewhere along the line we just became a kind of horribly garish piece of shit, and a quite proud one at that. We hate Paparazzi, we think obsession with celebrity is hugely unhealthy, and yet - LA deli still exists.
Where'd It Come From?
LA Deli was only active for about two months before the switch occured from a different website to here. The first article in "The Celebrity Cult Thread" on a media site was posted on July 13th (2005).
Soon the thread grew in popularity; and by mid August was already becoming one of the sites most popular threads. It was clear at this stage that if the column was going to continue to grow it'd probably need its own place. A subspace at NF7 was set-up and a blog based system installed, and so work began on creating a basic & functional version of the celebrity column. It's still part of the Naturalflux7 column network. In July 2006 after one years operation and over 400,000 visits, The Deli decided to upgrade. It moved to WordPress and dumped Nucleus, This meant a slight upheaval with some missing pages and such - as basically the first 900 articles were moved to an "Archives" folder. You can still visit it.
Finally, SOMEONE at 'The-deli.org' forgot to pay the bills, and so it was decided that we'd redesign and move to LA-DELI.COM.
Why "LA Deli"?
Why not? LA is not only a poor French grammatical reference to our past (La is feminine for 'the' in French, and also the incorrect way of saying it - 'Le' is correct) but also a nod to the city we cover with great regularity (Thats, Los Angeles, dear.) and indeed, an awful Ashlee Simpson lyric. Take it either way.
The world Deli sources from "Delicatessen". "Delicatessen" in some places across Europe refers to a butcher, although its meaning differs. In fact there was even a movie called Delicatessen in which happily saw the butchering of humans as fodder for customers. We do exactly the same; we slaughter the famous to fuel the public. We also slaughter the ridiculous paparazzi press.
Who runs this place?
Some speculate that Joan Rivers does this in her spare time - I contest she isn't witty enough. In truth, it's a surly young man called Llama who is an aspiring film-maker, photographer and sexificator amongst others.
Who's Safe?
People who have worked hard for their fame and don't offend the public with outrageous acts of insanity or self-indulgence. It's not to say these people are no-go zones, if Tom Hanks flings a bottle of beer at a fan and tells them to fuck off you can be sure he will appear. But the point is the Deli's primary purpose is to focus on tabloid stars who crave attention and are part of the tabloid lie factory. We have only nice things to say about those who legitimately deserve their fame and don't actively seek celebrity.
Whats True?
Assume everything on this site is a horrible lie and you're probably closer to the truth than you'd imagine. Tabloids and the media exaggerate and lie about celebrities on a daily basis now. The Deli's purpose is to underline the ridiculousness of those lies and play upon media perceptions of celebrities, we'd imagine most of the people mentioned are very different from the caricatures we play upon here. For example, Mariah Carey is egotistical and selfish. Britney Spears is a crazy lesbian. Tom Cruise is clinically unstable and quite possibly homosexual. We have no idea how true any of those statements are, but what we do know is that the world media wants you to believe these things.
Contact Info?
You can contact Llama with your hot pics of saucy underwear by emailing him at ladelicontact (at@) googlemail.com. He particularly encourages images of lacy panties.
Partner Let Me Disclaim You The Deli is a satire gossip site which features stories composed of predominantly rumours & conjecture as well as media reports citing various sources. The Deli and Naturalflux7.com does not make warranty as to the correctness or reliability of the site’s content. External links and material from other sites are not the responsibility of The Deli or Naturalflux7.com. In other words; I make most of this stuff up, If you believe it then your a dumbass. Any images used on The Deli are taken from the web and believed to be in the public domain. If any images posted here are in violation of copyright law, please contact us and we will remove the offending images immediately. All users accept full liability for all comment postings. The Deli accepts no responsibility for any content posted in the comments section. The Deli reserves the right to moderate the comments system. By viewing the websites content all visitors automatically agree to having read this disclaimer and having understood the terms, conditions and privacy policy.