Because they can't get enough attention.

Because they can't get enough attention.

Everyone knows celebs love attention.It’s their oxygen. Without attention they are just your plain old average jo seedy coke addicted losers.

Everyone also knows Twitter is the #1 destination for attention whores. With twitter, i can hear about the colour of someones shit as they are taking it! What’s that i smell? Shit, yes, but also a revolution!!!

No surprise then that celebrities are taking to twitter like white girls take to spray-tanning. Celebs can update us on their really boring lives as if we give a twatty twit, and then they get all of the benefits of endless attention without any of the nasty stalkers who have access to photos of them doing coke off of hookers like they would by being a facebook friend.

Twitter is essentially a shitty facebook you can actually control, so it’s probably equally unsurprising that the media are pushing it like a pimp pushing his classiest whore.

The downside for the media and celebrities embracing this revolution is that celebrities on the whole = actually not very cool, fun, interesting or sane.

The upside for us: There is nothing funnier than deluded ramblings of self important millionaires! And to kick off our new Twatter-watch, who better than the king of twats himself, Diddy!

P Diddy
This bag of crazy just keeps giving.

For example at the 2009 Oscars

“I’m holding an oscar rt now and takin a bubble bath!!!! God is great!!! Let’s go people”
5:15 PM Feb 23rd

was closely followed by

“Taken a bubble bath holdin a oscar!! God is great Let’s go people”
5:21 PM Feb 23rd 

and then

“No weapon formed against us shall prosper!!!!! God has us!!!! Believe!!”
6:58 PM Feb 23rd 

When im feeling down, i just visit Diddy’s twitter because he provides nuggets of self-esteem boosting such as

“LET’S BE GREAT TOGETHER!!!!!
12:10 AM Feb 1st from web”

Lets! You have some work to do, Diddy.

“Believe!!!!!!”
1:10 AM Feb 21st

I believe one thing, and it is that you are a CRAZY BITCH, diddy.

“I believe I can fly!!! I’m flying!!! You can fly to if too if you would just
BELIEVE!!!!! BELIEVE!!!!!! Do you BELIEVE??????”
12:37 PM Feb 28th from TwitterBerry

I get it, you want me to believe!!! In the thetans?

He also made it 8 and a half hours in to a 36 hour tantric sex session  before he quit that bitch…and twittered about it