The Diary of Mimi: I have an announcement…
FUCKASEDIF9WEFR9WEFWEFNWEFWEF UGH
Sorry fans, it’s Mimi here, and my usually glorious composure that I get from my inner butterfly has departed today because that SKANK and TROLLFUCK Toni Braxton is bringing out a new song. BITCH PLEASE DIDN’T YOU GET THE MEMO? No one gives a damn fuck about your beat face any more, go home before I smack you with my butterfly empress cane. Meanwhile I have a new album on the way which is OBVIOUSLY going to blow Toni’s shitfest OUT OF THE WATER. Plus she is looking fat on that cover.
Ugh. Okay with that out of my system, I have a really really HUGE announcement to make. Hold on whilst I put this donut down, it’s making my hooves hands (sorry, my ghost typer Chi-Lung gets a little cheeky! No dinner for her this month!) sticky!
People have been calling me fat again lately, and that is really hurtful to me because I’m just a real woman, and we put on weight sometimes, you know? I’m no different. Im real and normal, I like to sit around some nights with 30 bags of Frito-Lays and a gateau just like any other girl.
Anyway, the reason I’ve put on a little beef (is THAT why people call me Moomi? I still don’t get it!!!) Is because i’ve got a muffin in my oven! Mmm delicious muffins! I wish i had a chocolate muffin with a creamy centre right now. God that would be great.
Oh wait, yes my announcement is that IM PREGNANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!1111!!
There is a little pupa inside of me right now!!!!! I cant wait for it to hatch into the beautiful Emperor Butterfly i know it is! Anyway with that out of the way, lets talk about some really important news – People are saying i’m due an OSCAR nod for Best Supporting Actress for my role in the amazing new movie Precious. It should put to rest any haters who think i can’t act as I am really a multi-faceted performer and human being.
I mean, I can’t say I hear of Toni Braxton getting any Oscar buzz. That’s because I am the greatest actress of my time and I’m glad people are finally realizing that I am not just an incredibly and beautiful pop singer, there is a depth to me not many people know about.
Anyway, guys, I need to go now, because Jack needs to be combed with his diamond brush and then I have to go eat some food – I might waste away! BYEEE FANS
P.S Buy my new album out soon.
| Print article | This entry was posted by Deli Llama on October 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm, and is filed under Celebrities. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
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