Thanks to our newest addition to our staff, Korrgan, we are going to be able to cover new ground. Every Thursday you will be able to catch our review of new episodes of America’s Next Top Model.

Tyra is a fairy

If you want to see Tyra dribbling, yes dribbling, then click below to read Korrgan’s constipated review.

A new episode of ANTM. Must be Wednesday. The theme song always makes me urinate my pants like Fergie when Tyra says, “Wanna be on top?” and I’m always like, “No, fat whoreslut, I like being on the bottom!” Feeling my man ontop, crushing into me a little. But I bet Tyra love being on top, crushing in her man’s pelvic bone with her pinata thighs of Taco Bell.

The models enter their L.A. home, to discover TYRA OMFG *SCREAM* on the couch. In a tiara. And a staff. That slut seriously thinks she’s the queen whore of the world.

Tyra begins discussing her life story as a young model growing up in the hood. She was a fatass, and the agency said, “BITCH, YOU ARE FAT!”. So what did Queen Tyra do, as a young, fat model growing up in the hood? The slut ordered pizza. Tyra, you needed to order some anorexia.

“MAKE OVERS!” OMFG TYRA *SCREAM*

Suddenly out of Tyra’s fat ass comes MS. JAY AS A WITCH *SCREAM*!!!

"Tyra, nooooooo"

Tyra bites into that apple because that bitch hasn’t eaten in 2 minutes!

WHAT???!?!?!?


SHE THEN DIES BECAUSE THE QUEER APPLE WAS POISONED! OK, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS SOME SCARY SHIT. I HOPE TYRA DON’T DIE.

OMFG MR. JAY *SCREAM*. MR JAY save Tyra. I’ll do anything. I’ll make love to the poor and help Miley Cyrus to deslut herself. Just use your penis touching lips to bring my Tyra back to life. With the kiss of life, Mr Jay saves her. They win, free makeovers because most of them look like contestants for America’s Next Fugly White Trash Model.

The makeovers begin!! OMFG *SKREEM* Hair is colored and weaves are woven. And Tyra finds a way to give herself even more screen time and attention, now dressed as The Fat Bitch from the next Chronicles of Narnia.

Let’s go on a journey ya’ll, to Wal-Mart! America’s Next Top Racist wins the challenge. Oh, didn’t you no?! Hannah comes from Alaska, where she lives in the wilderness with no electricity. She maybe sees two black people a year. She made racist comments last week, and is now the Heidi of the show.

The photoshoot begins. A swimsuit photoshoot. yay, they’re telling us that Tyra made history when she was the first ever black woman on Sports Illustrated. We haven’t heard that story before. (we have) It’s Isis’ turn, and she’s wearing a pretty two piece. She’s also wearing a penis, because she was a man.

The elimination is underway. WHAT ARE THE PRIZES, TYRA? o right, a contract with one of the top modeling agencies, a six-page spread in Seventeen magazine and a $100,000 contract with Covergirl. I always let it go in one ear and out the other, ’cause I know you’re gonna tell me the prizes all over again at the next elimination.

I get rather horny when noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker comes on the screen. He’s just so sexy and delicious. Oh and by the way, Brittany was eliminated my horniness took over byt I think I remember being schocked when Brittany said, “I’m too bright of a star to fade away.” Excuse me ho, who do you think you are, Tyra Banks?

Stay tuned to the LA-Deli for more ANTM drama.

-Korrgan (LA-Deli virginarette, ANTM correspondent)