Celebrity

• Hairspray's Nikki Blonsky has been arrested and charged with assault, after her and her father had a run-in with America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden. All 3 could face jail time in a Caribbean prison. Sounds like a great getaway retreat. Do you think it involved a fat taunt?
• Cher, Kelsey Grammer, Shia LeBeouf, Lindsay Lohan, Bernie Mac and Amy Winehouse all attended a medical center in the past 7 days. I'm gonna throw myself off a roof now so I can be a victim too.
• Sean Bean and Balthazar Getty are rumoured to be opening a Club Med for men who are too retarded in relationships.

Movie News:

• The new Harry Potter film trailer premiered. Film buffs have been orgasing all summer and they will be doing much the same this winter.
• RottenTomatoes.com told us something we already knew, the new Mummy film looks like shit.

And we end with the album cover for Jessica Simpons' new CD. The crabs are safe and sound.

Image sources: TMZ, SonyBMG

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Divorce, Harry Potter, Jessica Simpson, Nikki Blonsky