Mariah gets married.
DUMB BITCH ALERT AT 4PM. LOOKS LIKE A SAUSAGE. MAKES LOUD NOISES.
Carey, 38, obtained a marriage licence with actor and rapper Nick Cannon, 27, in a secret ceremony on the Caribbean island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas, the New York Post and People magazine both reported.
News of the marriage comes just weeks after the first reports that the pair were seeing each other. Cannon, who has previously appeared as a fictional lover in one of her music videos, is said to have sealed the knot by giving his new wife a large diamond ring worth $2.5 million.
Mariah is a dumb salami up shit creek without a paddle as there is no pre-nup in place and Nick Cannon's entire fortune is worth about the same as a MooMoo fart in a glass jar.
Her crazy ass is going to realize at some point that Nick Cannon is not a tasty delicious European confectionery snack nor is he the butterfly king and he is going to be foolish enough to refuse to do a spot-test for air humidity at some point. This will be the end of it. Mariah will probably just eat him though, that would be easier than settling and you know bitch is HUNGRY right now.
She is cunning and would blame it all on Toni Braxton. She would love the Toni Braxton trial on TV. Her ass would laugh until it farts those golden farts.
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