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Aubrey O Day is going to be a fine mother.

September 17th, 2008

Aubrey O Day is like the inspirational story for a generation. Her transformation from skanky ass prostitute to all kinds of crazy sophistocated is one which many young girls are sure to see as a source of power during difficult times. Aubrey is a continuing source of glamour and beauty, as is demonstrated by her new interview with Complex magazine. In it, she admitted to

Having sex during her period, claiming Jenna Jameson told her it was “war paint”.
Having sex on camera with her boyfriend
Loving porn where black guys do white girls - and enjoys watching the girls more.
Loving being called a whore.

However, the finest moment of the entire interview culminated in this quote about how she watched Jenna Jameson porn movies until she befriended Jameson

I watched her before she was my BFF, I donâ€™t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, â€œOh no!â€ I had to turn it off. It was horrible.

Yeah, Jenna Jameson was what made the anal sex compliation that you can’t readily identify gross, and not, say, the shitty dicks, or the fact you masturbate to anal porn so frequently that you can’t remember what compliation of it you were watching.

I mean, I wasn’t even aware that the world had compliations of porn. Is that like a NOW cd? All the greatest jizzes and bukkake’s of the season? Featuring Fergie? Heidi Montag should get some action out of this, her songs would be perfect for porn complation dvds!

Some of Heidi’s lyrics can be used in the commercials after the jump!

“Put it all on me” for feces fetish

“Used me, tried to abuse me” for s&m

“Made me scared to open up but now im better off” for “First Time” porn.

“Your drumming your drummer!” for anything involving masturbation of any kind. I’ll drum my drummer!

“When i cried myself to sleep tell me where were you?” for any porn involving fantasies of cheating on your alcoholic depressive wife with a hooker in some bushes.

Truly, there is a Heidi lyric for every pornographic occasion. An Aubrey and Heidi duet would be sure to gain rave critical reviews from all Operatic fans who witness it.

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