Deal!
LA Deli is taking a short break whilst we all freak the fuck out at the 1000 million things in our lives that aren’t celebrity related. Okay im lying, we have all become addicted to crack and are in rehab to get over that mess so we can bring back the sexy to the internet.
Give us time, and prayers. Everyone needs prayers! Especially fucking Toni Braxton if Mariah Carey gets a whiff of her ass.
Beyonce and Britney are both really, really ridiculously famous and successful, but Beyonce hasn’t had two months of hype about a comeback to fuel the release of her new music video, so I’m wondering why in the fuck Matthew Knowles decided to release“If I Were a Boy’s” music video on the same day that “Womanizer” hit tvs across America. Then i realized Matthew Knowles isn’t the most slender man, and has planned it all to get a mouth full of cheetos dipped in frapp. Larry Rudolph will be gnawing on his arm by this evening.
Beyonce is going to get her ass egged by a million angry Britney Spears fans now.Â
Snap Verdict: Good Song, Dull ass pretentious video.
What a week in music. New Britney, New Beyonce. What’s next? New Fergie? Oh my testicles, that would have made it a completely great week in the world of music.
For this entry we’ve decided to donate it to Beyonce. Who is like that horse, Black Beauty. Remember her, well she was a horse who liked to ride other horses. Disney even make a movie about it I think.
I liked the “What?” “What?” part. I was like “What?”. It’s good to see Beyonce still loves herself very much, and is still the queen of her own world.
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Nicole Scherzinger and her army of skanks also have a few more music videos out. What’s interesting about the I Hate This Part music video, is the the other girls just bang pin ball machines and kick dust, while Nicole is like “oh my god bitches, I can so sing.” And the Whatcha Think About That is more of the same thing, with a cameo from Missy Elliott.
http://www.dailymotion.com/videox6zrvs
Britney Spears’ comeback appears to be in full swing after she announced today she was Divorcing Starbucks and will keep the 3,500 empty frap containers, but will return all straws as part of the pre-nuptial agreement.Â
Just kidding. Britney reached #1 on iTunes within 24 hours today, largely because Britney Spears fans really, really wanted her too, but also because WUMANIZA is a pretty good song, and I hope it has an even better video and album.
Other iTunes #1s for “Womanizer” include Spain, Canada, & Sweden. It has also hit #4 in France, #5 in New Zealand, and gone top 10 in Portugal, Norway, Poland, Denmark, and top 12 in Australia, Netherlands and FInland. The track has yet to hit UK shores, and will be released there on November 3rd.
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She looks great, she’s doing well and she is working hard! Lets move on to Miley for our tabloid fodder.
Hi, my name is Jessica Alba. You should know me. Anyway, I just hope you guys like my new look. I got it done especially for the election. I love it. It helps me not eat. Anyway I hope you guys vote in the election, if you don’t you will turn out like this.
xoxo
jess
Britney Spears, above, is pictured when she first spotted a Giant Walking Frappucino. Sources say that the Frap “Didn’t stand a chance”. Brit Brit legged it faster than she has in twelve months towards that frap “like a rabid dog”.Â
On-lookers also reported that the frap was “In great distress” throughout. Spears seemed pleased though, making a rare candid comment to onlooking paparazzo “That was the best frap i ever did done have! Y’all know Brit could use some cheetos and lip balm right about now!”
In reality, this photo was one of many taken when Britney showed up at a school in the Bronx, New York to do a meet and greet with some kids. Her new leaf tastes like Caramel Dulce de Leche.
Katy Perry’s new music video is trying to tell us a story about her. It’s quite clear the woman is fond of domestic violence and letting her cross dressing best friend watch her do it. That’s a bitch if I ever saw one.
I like Katy Perry, i think people throw too much shit on her but I’m starting to see why. How on earth she got 2000 extras to be in her music video scares me. And let’s face it, the bitch needs a new wardrobe.
Britney Spears is sane again, and from this sanity she has realized that her video for Piece of Me didnt so much deserve 3 VMAs as it did 3 Razzies and an epic slagging since it is, of course, quite terrible. When Britney did the sane and reasonable thing by dropping in to a radio station to promote her new single, she let slip that she’s also having a world tour, so Paris better stock up on cheetos and frapps. Brit Brit said of Piece of Me
“I think that by far i’ve done videos that are way better, so I was really shocked i got the award, you know?”
We were too Britney, and you can thank your tumulous past of crazy pink wigging for that mess.
To all LA Deli guests, have a great Holiday season. Thank you for all of your support. 
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