The nightmare continues as we enter the house of a thousand candy coloured vomits.
Yes its a youtube capture. Deal with it! You can follow the Youtube episode here.
Come with me on our journey through dyke and douche to see if this week Tila "really connects" with anyone. Connecting involves bumping STIS in circular motions and passing the test to see who has more weave in their pubes.
Theres not enough sexy on this site and too much ugly. So i've decided to treat you guys to weekly hotties from both sides of the sexual divide.
Hot Peen of the Week: Gaspard Ulliel.
Why? Because i'd hit it from 18 different directions and because everyone loves the sexy European thing. You don't know what they are saying so it sounds profound but actually they are just saying that you are kind of fat, but they've heard fat chicks are good in bed, so they will give you a whirl and see how it goes. I also kind of hate him because I wish i looked that good. But i tell myself he has a fetish for like, animal shit or something. That makes me feel better. I'd still be okay with that if he wants to call.
Hot Slut of the Week: Maggie Q.
Why? Because this ho is pure perfection and I swear to god I get turned on when a chick can clearly beat the shit out of me. Don't lie, anyone who says they saw Die Hard 4 and didn't get a little tingly when she was beating down Bruce Willis is a liar and a thief and is probably fat too.
DUMB BITCH ALERT AT 4PM. LOOKS LIKE A SAUSAGE. MAKES LOUD NOISES.
Carey, 38, obtained a marriage licence with actor and rapper Nick Cannon, 27, in a secret ceremony on the Caribbean island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas, the New York Post and People magazine both reported.
News of the marriage comes just weeks after the first reports that the pair were seeing each other. Cannon, who has previously appeared as a fictional lover in one of her music videos, is said to have sealed the knot by giving his new wife a large diamond ring worth $2.5 million.
Mariah is a dumb salami up shit creek without a paddle as there is no pre-nup in place and Nick Cannon's entire fortune is worth about the same as a MooMoo fart in a glass jar.
Her crazy ass is going to realize at some point that Nick Cannon is not a tasty delicious European confectionery snack nor is he the butterfly king and he is going to be foolish enough to refuse to do a spot-test for air humidity at some point. This will be the end of it. Mariah will probably just eat him though, that would be easier than settling and you know bitch is HUNGRY right now.
She is cunning and would blame it all on Toni Braxton. She would love the Toni Braxton trial on TV. Her ass would laugh until it farts those golden farts.
Fergie probably pissed her pants there and then when the Sex and the City people approached her ass to do the song for the movie which is a tale of a lesbian, a pony, a sex tape star and an ageing hooker. It's going to be sensational.
This song is a hot trainwreck of ass. It is definitely a winner. It's just NOISE Fuggie. NOISE!
Did you know Fuggie's debut album sold over 6,500,000 copies worldwide, and her the album spawned 5 platinum singles, three of which were double platinum. Did you also know Fergies vagina is the worlds biggest export for piss and piss porn? Fact!
Thanks to Cotton
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