How much is it photoshopped? Why did they put that girls head on that guys body? What the hell is he doing with his arm? Is he gay? So many questions raised by the new homoerotic Rolling Stone cover from Zac Efron.

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I mean, there's really nothing I enjoy more than seeing kids grow up under the pressure of Hollywood to look good – because for at least 4 years, they actually do look really, really fucking good. I'd hit it quicker than Moomi can eat. But if you had a personal trainer named Ziclief Helganstien and a microchip that stops your heart for several seconds if you even look at a bagel, then you'd look like this too. I want to know what brand his teeth are. Hot cover, can we move on?