Today you will be served by Paris and Jenna, and you will find exits on the rear and top front with wide entrances in the lower front. These exits and entrances are marked with a dry and crusty substance which is clearly visible in UV light.

In case of an emergency, retract from all entrances and exits and use the provided lighters and matches to set yourself on fire. Our staff will be dispensing condoms and vibrators in a few moments and would like to remind you that smoking is strictly prohibited inside both Paris and Jenna, although urinating is highly encouraged by both hostesses.

We wish you a safe journey, but suspect that you’ll end up looking somewhat like this by the end of it.

Share/Save

Related posts

• Not actually sure if Paris cares about babies… (3)
• The Stars are blind (and now deaf) (0)
• Nicky & Paris Hilton are pure class in a glass. (25)
• Fire on the Crab Farm! (1)
• Paris: A fish out of water (0)

Paris Hilton