The Diary of Mimi: Vacation Time!
July 8th, 2007Hi my beautiful homosexual and hetrosexual fans alike! Mimi calling!
I am writing you from the beautiful Capri!!! I am on vacation here, but you know your girl Mimi, looking this good is always hard work! I said to my handlers. "Handlers, I want to go somewhere that will equal my beauty. It is no small order, but It can be done!" and then they came up with Capri.
Of course they failed in their task but Mimi knew this would happen. Hehe I did enjoy watching them weep as I told them they were fired though! Then i told them i was just kidding as i don't fire gypsies - even Mimi isn't that cruel! Who would feed their families? Gypsies can sustain themselves though, right? I think they use their families against me just to get more money when I know that gypsies eat their own fingernails anyway!
Capri is really pretty. Like, even my vagina feels more relaxed here. Although i've been told already that I have a relaxed vagina, it feels moreso here. I think my relaxed vagina is definitely a reflection of my relaxed inner self, my whole body is relaxed. Writing to you from my beautiful yacht reminds me how much of your money i've been spending lately. I just want to say - KEEP BUYING MY CDS because if you don't then Mimi won't be able to go to Capri any more and this will make her sad. 
God i look fabulous right now.
Lol yes that fat gypsy next to me works for me
I'd also like to take the time to review Toni Braxton's latest CD which i had the pleasure of listening to lately. HAH pleasure MY FINELY TONED ASS.
So the album is called Libra because Toni Braxton is a dirty fucking slut and Libra is the perfect name for a slut like her. The album cover is beautiful only to dead blind people because it features Toni Braxton pulling her shirt up to show off her FAT and she is clearly fucking ugly. I wanted to now take a look at the release from this record
Single: Please
Please is a beautiful pile of dog shit which only made 106 in the billboard chart. In comparison. Mimi made #1 A LOT OF TIMES with her last album.
Single: Trippin
HAHAHAH THIS SKANK WHORES SINGLE DIDNT EVEN MAKE BUBBLIN UNDER. MIMI COULD RECORD HER FARTS AND IT WOULD MAKE TOP 50 AND THIS BITCH CANT EVEN MAKE TOP 150 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
I wont even go any further because it's just embarrassing for her, But what i will say is that my album sold 10 times what this trash did. Plus she is a fat tranny hooker with a tiny dick. Toni Braxton is definitely obsessed with me and I wish she'd just get over it, it's not like I'm going to sleep with her or she's going to be me. God. Okay I'd only sleep with her so I could take photos of her dick and send them to US weekly.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to tell you guys about my new FRAGRANCE. M by Mariah Carey. It smells just like Mimi and i smell like rose petals ground up with fairy wings and unicorn horns. Now some people might think this combination smells a little like horse urine but I can assure you having smelt rose petals, fairy wings and unicorn horns before that this is NOT the case. I also added a lil somethin somethin for you guys. There's crack cocaine in it!
Enjoy,
Moomi.
*Note, For legal reasons I should re-iterate that Mariah Carey had nothing to do with this. If you didn't already get that - but seriously, a lot of you don't.
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