That's right everyone. After a week of very little worthy news, this just in. Sharon Stone, contrary to popular belief, was live and kicking. I know. I could've sworn she had died ages ago too. Apparently not. This is, however, until just recently when she was seen in public. Dying.

A tourist happened to be taking a picture of some birds in a fountain when he heard a loud explosion. He turned to see where the sound was coming from only to see it was a very stoned Miss Stone and conveniently snapped a picture of her appendix bursting.

She died painlessly due to the fact that she was so doped up at the time, but didn't go right away, also due to the fact that she was doped up at the time. After spending far too long trying to find the light, she left us to go back to our lives and back to the idea that she had been dead for quite awhile now.

Her funeral was held several years ago. Nobody showed up. Just thought you'd all like to know. That is all.

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Sharon Stone