Promises rehab center closes it’s…uhm, bar.
July 25th, 2007
You know there are some things you can expect from rehab. Like, say, a quiet garden space, perhaps with a fountain. A comfy lounge somewhere to unwind and take your mind off your meth withdrawal, and you know - a nice, clean bedroom with some homely furniture maybe - just so you don't feel like you're in a hosptial ward.
One thing you might not expect at a rehab center is a bar. Especially when your rehab center seems to exclusively attract alcoholic trainwrecks. Promises have decided to re-evaluate their policy on having a bar after high profile stars Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears continued to decline even after stints in the clinic.
“I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about our facility,” said Brookes. “It’s not like it’s an open bar or anything. The patients have to pay for their own drinks. I want to make sure everyone is clear on that point.”
As administrators reevaluate the treatment process, the bar has been temporarily shut down, leaving three fulltime bartenders unemployed.
“I’m just kind of stunned by all of this,” said Promises bartender Bob Srekam. “I’ve served a lot of amazing celebrities over the years. Lindsay was great. I made her a drink all the time called the ‘Britney Spears.’ It’s mixture of Ketel One vodka, ethanol, and Grey Goose vodka.”
Oh well i was worried for a moment there that a rehab centre might have just been handing out free drinks to its alcoholic residents. But now i know they actually have to PAY for their drinks? Whole different matter! No wonder Lindsay made such a speedy recovery. Time in rehab recovering from alcoholism really flies when your tanked through the whole experience! Hey, i wonder if they have a drugs den too! From the sounds of things the rehabilition sessions are actually held by a woman called Gertrude who slips a little whisky into the punch before class starts and then discusses what happened this week on Tyra followed by the screening of Romy & Michelles High School Reunion. God Promises is truly the best place to shrivel up and die for all fallen celebrities!
July 25th, 2007 at 11:26 am
you have got to be kidding!