Michael Moore is an elephant.
June 22nd, 2007
You know when you see a really fat person in the street and you throw sticks at them and call them jigglebus and big fatty fat fat? And then you keep doing it until they break down and cry and you make them eat a pork pie in front of you until they throw it back up? Well PETA is doing something similar to Michael Moore…by calling him an elephant and suggesting he lose weight. They know this is the only way. PETA is hot.
“Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.”
At least they are blunt about it. I like how they call him an elephant. It's almost exactly like that date i went on where I called my date an elephant.
Me: Hey can I have some more popcorn.
Date: Uhm, I kind of finished it (akward giggling)
Me: WHAT THE FUCK? YOU FINISHED THE POPCORN. JESUS CHRIST WHAT KIND OF FAT ELEPHANT HO ARE YOU?
Date: I can…buy some more?
Me: YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU TUBS!? WOULDN'T YOU. WELL YOU GO AND BUY SOME MORE AND LET'S TRY TO NOT EAT IT ALL ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE LOBBY THIS TIME SHALL WE!? DO YOU NEED SOME HELP GETTING WEDGED OUT OF THAT SEAT THERE? BECAUSE I CAN CALL A CRANE IN IF YOU WANT!
She didn't really call me back and the last time I saw her she looked all anorexic and shit. My work there was done. God I am such a good person. She must have weighed at least 120 pounds, fat ho.
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