Lindsay Lohan enters rehab

I’m back from the near-dead, and just in time for another Hollywood starlet to send herself to rehab! I did miss covering the Golden Globes though, but it was all rather predictable in that Jennifer Garner looked the most awesomest.

Lindsay Lohan has shockingly entered herself into rehab for undisclosed reasons, but I’m willing to put my asian wife on it being something to do with her addiction to booze. It’s such a beautiful thing to see bouncy, perky teen stars ruined by the corruption of drugs, sex and rock and roll. It reminds me of the time my aunt Cherry was stolen away from her blissful youth as a farm hand to become the star we now all know and love as Drew Barrymore.

Oh Snap, haven’t been taking my meds this week! Sorry to say that I need to double the dosage since I took a poop on a table in Starbucks. Fact i learned from that event: Mariah Carey is not a voice inside my head.

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