Kelly Clarkson’s soul whispers to me whilst i settle into bed every evening. Do you want to know what it says to me?

Kelly Clarkson’s Soul: Free me! Free MEEEEE! Why wont you listen to me?
Me: Go away Kelly Clarkson’s soul as I am trying to sleep in my velvelty good bed!
Kelly Clarkson’s Soul: But do you not see the ugliness of my physical form?
Me: Yes of course I do you disgustingly ugly bitch, but seriously I’m up at 7 to have a quick wank before the new day begins. Please respect my need for sleep. And wanking.
Kelly Clarkson’s Soul: I shall respect it Llama, but I hope you imagine my hideously ugly face throughout your dreams and wanking.
Me: Oh no! please do not curse me with your fugly vodoo!
Kelly Clarkson’s Soul: I am sorry, it is too late. I am going to go and try and kill my body now because i am just too ugly.
Me: That is a grand idea, and maybe next time you’ll come back as something more attractive. Like a boot, or a retarded platypus.
Kelly Clarkson’s Soul: Oh that would be simply wonderful!
That is exactly what happens. Every night.

^{Image Source: Justjared.}

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Fug, Kelly Clarkson