DO NOT WANT! EXCLAMATION MARK!!!

It’s like, someone sat in a room with the evil dictators of the past century and tried to devise a way to assault my eyes knowing well that my eyes are tough little buggers hardened to fugliness thanks to intensive exposure to Fergie and Star Jones.

I hesitate to say that the above is an act of terrorism. Actually, I don’t hesitate. I know it to be true. I’d shout ‘terrorists!’ in an airport if these three came waltzing in. I am in fear for my life due to their existence, therefore I am now a direct victim of terrorism. I wonder if Beth Ditto’s ass can make it into the Axis of Evil, surely it’s more of a threat than Iran and North Korea put together!
Who actually made Beth Ditto? Someone stand up and take the bullet for this thing. I know there’s the whole Imus firestorm right now, but why is the existence of Beth Ditto in my memory bank going by unpunished? Injustice! You wouldn’t show a theater of kids a traumatic horror film when all they want is My Little Pony, would you!?

Well actually, you might. But thats not the point, Beth Ditto must be stopped before fat people everywhere start thinking it’s okay to dress like retarded 14 year old girls. This is not something the world needs right now. And I should know, being a highly respected President of the World.

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