Whilst it was previously thought that Leonardio DiCarprio’s only power was his inexplicable ability to bang much, much more attractive people than himself, this shocking new Vanity Fair cover suggests that DiCaprio has now obtained the power to levitate, which is a bit shit really considering what all of those people can do on Heroes.

Now, I’m not saying that screwing Giselle and Bar Rafaeli in chronological order is the key to becoming a god amongst men, but I am saying that screwing Giselle and Bar Rafaeli in chronological order is pretty fucking impressive. It is quite important we keep Jennifer Garner locked away from Mr DiCaprio though, because he’s coming dangerously close to fufilling the prophecy and I’m holding out for Fergie to shit herself onstage within the next decade.

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Fergie, Jennifer Garner