Angelina Jolie can’t shut the hell up!
May 10th, 2007
For someone who is batshit crazy and super annoyed at the intrusion to her private life by the world press, Angelina Jolie is sure doing a great job of keeping nothing about her relationship with Brad Pitt secret. I swear to god next week the ho will be telling me how he kind of likes it when she farts on his Cheerios and that is information I do not need. Here is some more information I do not need from Angelina, who apparently has stopped making films in favour of yapping to tabloids.
On how Brad changed her life:
I met this amazing person, and we realized we had very similar views on how we wanted to live our lives. It’s happened quickly, with so many children. Yesterday, picking up the kids from school, Brad turned around in the car, and there were three of them. He couldn’t stop laughing. We love them and are having a great time.
Me on this: That is so interesting Angelina Jolie, why i can totally see why Brad would find the fact you had three kids hillariously funny, this one time, my mother laughed because my sister and I were in the same room. It was a padded room. Get your man on his meds ho because this kind of random laughter is not safe! Is he simple?
On getting pregnant with Shiloh:
Before I met Brad, I always said I was happy never to have a child biologically. He told me he hadn’t given up that thought. Then, a few months after Z came home, I saw Brad with her and Mad, and I realized how much he loved them, that a biological child would not in any way be a threat. So I said, “I want to try.”
Me on this: You insensitive cow! What about poor Jennifer Aniston’s baron womb right now? Ever thought about that!? No! Stop thinking with your DSL and start thinking with your cold little heart you hot ho! And of course you wanted to try, you wanted rubberless peen from Brad because your dead vadge can’t feel shit and don’t deny that! You gave him all sorts of nasties from that dirty conception, true?
On the topic of more children:
More biological, more adopted
Me on this: WTF ho you are not Moses and there is no Arc here! Calm down with this mess!
On Brad as a partner:
He encourages the right things. If I’ve had a full day and just really been a hands-on mom, he’ll make a point to let me know that’s something he’s proud of. If I’m writing an Op-Ed, he’s the first person to want to read the drafts. I could be dressed up in the sexiest outfit for a photo shoot, and by his behaviour, he’ll let me know that’s nice, but it’s nothing as sexy as when I’m home surrounded by the kids or reading books, educating myself. He slows me down to kind of get it right, to relax into the strength of my family and the love.
Me on this: I am quite drunk after this interview. I mean this much soppy relationship crap requires a lot of booze to get through.
May 13th, 2007 at 2:25 am
When her looks fade in a few years, the public is so going to turn on her. She’ll be the batshit crazy lady with 100 kids. By the way, you meant to say Jennifer is barren not baron. Although perhaps her womb is some sort of royalty, there was a time in the mid 90s where I might have believed that.
May 16th, 2007 at 10:10 am
First of all you’d have no commentary to make if she didn’t speak other than say lines from movies. You are entirely too judgemental of every word she says and interpret it in a cruel and mean way I can’t believe was meant at all.. so that this article is a turn off.. Jealous much, are we.. of people we don’t know?
May 16th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
yes jealous
May 24th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Funny! Give it ten more years and five more adoptions, Angelina Jolie will be the official spokespoerson of the United Colors of Benetton, or the old woman living in a shoe, she had so many kids she…My prediction for Angelina in the next ten months - a biological child, or a biological talk show. “Angepedia” - the newest early morning talkshow, right after Oprah, starting Angelina and Dr. Pedia, hollywood’s official kid doctor. Watch out Dr. Phil! My prediction for Angelina in 80 years, she’ll be looking like how she does in the Hollywood Zombie trading cards - glamourously dead. I work with them so check out http://www.hollywoodzombies.com.
June 15th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
My darling, it is “barren” when a woman cannot concieve. It is “baron” when you give someone a title. Please learn to spell.