Candy Spelling on her rift with Tori and Aaron’s death.

She said, “I think it started long before my husband passed away, and I think both of us losing him – her father and my husband – I think that made a big difference. It feels great”

Ahh, yes, there’s nothing more liberating than the feeling of your husband passing away to bring a family together. I guess the multi-million fortune you inherit helps soften the blow a little too. Just so long as she stays away from mirrors, Candy could continue to feel great indefinitely! I will let you know if her status changes to mildy unhappy or even displeased. I wonder if she has a new collar for Tori though now they are friends again.

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Paris Hilton’s Big Fake Titties have been the talk of the town this week giving both her flumpy vagina and her venereal diseases a welcome vacation from the headlines.

Rumour has it that her vagina is demanding a six figure salary bump to return for another season of screwing, and Paris is understandably in a weak position to bargain with her vagina considering no other vagina on earth is brave enough to take that position.

And whilst I say her tits are the talk of the town, what i really mean is they are the talk of the seven heavily retarded people who control the world’s media..and seven handjobs a day to Paris Hilton is like seven cakes a day to Rosie O.

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Avril Lavigne has attacked Britney Spears for not being tough enough for showbiz. Lavigne who was once conisdered the anti-Britney before she morphed into a teen pop princess herself said “What’s happened to Britney is all down to who she is as a person. If you want a piece of this business you have to be able to deal with it You can’t complain about the pressures, the paparazzi, the madness because that’s the job.” Brit, 25, has recently been in rehab. But Avril says while she too likes boozing, she can handle it and “no one really gets to know”.

Avril Lavigne attacking Britney Spears for cracking under the pressure of fame is sort of like your father attacking your mother for complaining about the agony of her period. Just like Avril Lavigne is jealous of Britney Spears for having media attention which she doesn’t have, your father is jealous of your mother for having titties and a snatch. Watch him around her panty drawer, those stains aren’t really soap powder!
Whilst Britney Spears is followed by 25 strong paparazzi everywhere she goes, all desperate to get a glimpse of her ear or her wig or even the man standing a few feet away from her who actually has nothing to do with her, Avril Lavigne would be lucky to have one retarded cow following her skanky ass around town, because watching Avril Lavigne driving around town in her Barbie Jeep and yelping for attention like the neurotic little prostitute she is isn’t quite as interesting as watching Britney Spears shaving all her hair off and screaming at people wielding an umbrella. I think the only solution is for Britney Spears to eat Avril Lavigne on live television and then take a dump on her new cd. This would please me greatly and I think it may also lead to world peace.

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